Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find.
And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.
Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some of the best tweets from long ago.
Either way, please enjoy this collection of the 15 funniest tweets we saw this week.
my dad once said “do what you hate first thing in the morning to get it out of the way” then 2 mos later called me on my birthday at 6am
— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) September 18, 2017
I woke my wife up laughing about this pic.twitter.com/U2DJxDFQ17
— Chemmy (@felixpotvin) September 19, 2017
me, normally: fuck cops
me when someone leaves trash in their grocery cart: we live in a society of rules
— kev (@kept_simple) September 17, 2017
[leaving a party]
HOST (holding 2 identical coats): which is urs
ME: does 1 have a corn dog in its pocket
M (suspiciously): mine had 2
— Brandon the Cow (@Brampersandon_) August 28, 2017
Emma Watson’s full name is Emmamentary Mydear Watson
— Todd ‘Papi’ Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) April 16, 2017
college football is ruthless because you’re 18 and you fuck up and suddenly a brass band starts playing to celebrate it
— Dave Lozo (@davelozo) September 17, 2017
When the humidity fogs up my glasses, I like to go “HUBBA HUBBA” to no one in particular.
— Abby Normal (@MrsTomServo) May 28, 2015
somethin kinda neat i found out…if you ignore a problem for long enough, it either goes away or ruins your life. so 50/50. pretty good odds.
— bobby 🚽 (@bobby) July 6, 2017
spelling bee judge: your word is respect
me: can you use it in…a song
spelling bee judge: nice try
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) September 15, 2017
Her:[watching sunset]”Best date ever! Nothing can ruin this mo..”
Me:[eating live Monarch butterflies out of a ziplock]
— Bmad (@1_swarthy_dude) June 24, 2017
*Steals parking spot from guy backing in*
Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU’RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) February 2, 2015
We are now almost halfway to the middle of this tweet and by now you should have realized that it is going absolutely nowhere.
— @Henry_3000 (@Henry_3000) September 18, 2017
We can’t agree what to call our dart team so now we’re just throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks
— Steven W Skinner (@SkinnerSteven) September 19, 2017
2015 – I have horrible anxiety but a lot of the time I don’t have a reason for it
2017 – Oh thanks, I have a few reliable reasons now.
— Michael, still here (@Home_Halfway) September 20, 2017
I’m not high pic.twitter.com/9ZXZCXfY1f
— Lyla Q. (@LylaRevilla) September 20, 2017
If you need even more, you can check out the most hilarious tweets from last week.