Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. And every week we narrow it down to our 15 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some funny tweets from long ago. Either way, these were 15 of the most hilarious tweets we saw this week.
cute date ideas
– roller skating
– coming to the shattering realization that life has no intrinsic value
– six flags
— artificialdeath.flac (@hyped_resonance) July 23, 2016
Him: What the hell is a palindrome?
Me: No, it’s not.
— Lazer Brenna (@ThatBrenna) July 19, 2015
ME: Do we or do we not ride our bikes at the same speed?
BIKER: OK, but you need to stop saying we “synchronize our cycles.”
— REW (@therealeatwood) October 2, 2015
It’s so hot outside Lenny Kravitz is wearing only 2 scarves right now.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) July 25, 2016
I hear you, Sanders supporters who plan to vote Trump. One time I asked for Coke but they only had Pepsi, so I set fire to my head.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) July 25, 2016
[during my 1st trip as an Uber driver]
THIS IS MY 1ST TRIP AS AN UBER DRIVER. ARE YOU COMFORTABLE? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE DUKES OF HAZZARD?
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) July 26, 2016
If someone invites you over, and says to “bring whatever” a fun prank is to bring them a pet parrot.
— Jess (@jessokfine) June 13, 2016
*hits thumb with hammer*
*notices there are small, impressionable children nearby*
— Ray (@SirEviscerate) July 25, 2016
I’m only typing things in the Stranger Things font from now on pic.twitter.com/0LpekKzKfa
— Jen Lewis (@thisjenlewis) July 25, 2016
AIDE: lol u just owned trump on twitter
BERNIE SANDERS: (carrying a lot of folders for some reason) I DID WHAT ON THE WHAT NOW?
— Ethan Booker (@Ethan_Booker) July 26, 2016
You see? This is exactly why I don’t exercise. pic.twitter.com/vadpV1s4kQ
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) July 2, 2016
Taco guy: guac costs extra
Obi Wan: [wafts hand] guac is free
Taco Guy: guac is free…
Anakin: why’d u even pay for the taco?
Obi Wan: dammit
— GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) July 25, 2016
This is a pretty open and shut election as long as the DNC doesn’t ask Trump to try on the glove.
— Brad DePrima (@brdeprima) July 26, 2016
My sister’s maternity pics…I’m cracking up 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/4zbiCvwyfd
— tally (@Ataliagarcia5) July 25, 2016
please do not throw your cigarette butts on the ground, squirrels have been known to pick them up and look super fucken cool
— ᴄʜʀɪs (@ChrisScarlette) July 24, 2016
And if you need even more, you can always check out last week’s most hilarious tweets.