31.
date: you look upset
me: [thinking about how she just covered her fries in ketchup instead of putting it on the side] it's nothing— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) August 30, 2018
32.
Him: Let's do it doggy-style
Me: I prefer catty-style
Him: oo what's tha-
Me: *already pushing him off the bed*— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) March 20, 2018
33.
date: i love your shoes!
me: ugh, these old things? they were free
date: take the compliment!
me: no like a kid stole them, threw them over a guard rail & they hit me on the head
date: what??
me: ya turns out they used to belong to some basketball star
date: this is ‘holes’
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) July 28, 2018
34.
[ikea date]
him: let’s go check out the beds 😉
me: *mouthful of meatballs* they sell furniture here?
— sarah (@girlnarly) August 20, 2018
35.
https://twitter.com/roxiqt/status/1029374949348134912