11.
12.
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 15, 2017
13.
14.
WIFE: We really need to think about sticking to our monthly budget
ME: *feeding my pet octopus a bag of emeralds* I agree— Just Some Guy | Black Lives Matter (@Home_Halfway) February 21, 2017
15.
[Me, on my deathbed]
Wife: Is that what you're going to wear?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 23, 2017
16.
Due to personal reasons, I’ll be flushing the toilet every time my husband showers this week.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 29, 2020
17.
18.
*watching husband sleep*
Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-"
*husband snores*
Me: "I can't live like this."
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 28, 2016
19.
wife & I just overheard the kids talking about how they'll decorate the house after we die, so I guess we're sleeping in shifts from now on
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) October 28, 2017
20.
Me: I'm gonna take a shower.
Husband, raising eyebrows suggestively: Need any help?
Me: Yeah, keep the kids busy.— SpacedMom (@copymama) July 23, 2017