21.
Marriage status: My wife refused to move, so I made the bed over the top of her. pic.twitter.com/DPEz9buSPi
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2017
22.
My husband surprised me by taking today off. Now I have to pretend like I do dishes and laundry and shit while he's working. My Friday is ruined.
— đźŽá‘Śá–‡á”•á‘Śá’Şá—©đźŽ (@3sunzzz) November 17, 2017
23.
Call me old-fashioned, but I believe marriage should be between a person who hates pickles and another person who will eat that pickle.
— Kate Sidley (@sidleykate) October 21, 2017
24.
My wife combined so many coupons the grocery store actually paid her.
She's been talking about it for 20 minutes.
This is her Super Bowl.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 1, 2017
25.
https://twitter.com/CurlyChaoticMom/status/966511107455225858
26.
Marriage is alright if you like someone coming home and telling you about their day in the middle of your movie
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) June 1, 2017
27.
I opened the dishwasher and it's full of clean dishes and I'm scared my wife is going to know that I know.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 21, 2017
28.
[getting ready to go out]
Wife: What are you wearing?
Me: This.
Wife:
Me: Not this.
Wife: Good guess.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 1, 2020
29.
Me: Do you remember when I told you-
Husband: No.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 28, 2020
30.
Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 8, 2020