If the Internet were a Thanksgiving dinner, the following tweets would be the gravy you’d pour on top of all of it. They cover just about anything and everything you might encounter while you’re stuffing your face with highly-caloric cuisine and getting into heated arguments with family members. Before the big day comes, you should have a look at some of the funniest Thanksgiving tweets that have ever graced the Internet.
Golden Corral Thanksgiving Day Buffet! Only costs 12.99 and any chance you have of ever being happy again
— R Dot (@FrankLongo) November 16, 2012
This Thanksgiving for the first time ever, your drunk uncle will seem quite “presidential.”
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 14, 2016
Top five recipes for thanksgiving leftovers:
5. Fuck that, we’re ordering pizza.
— call me liv📎 (@liv_thatsme) November 27, 2015
LIFEHACK: When you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner this year, set the tone by quietly placing a small handgun on the table in front of you
— Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) November 21, 2016
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone visiting their parents. pic.twitter.com/hRxI5EyssU
— Christian Duguay (@christianduguay) November 28, 2014
*stops at mcdonald’s to pre-game on way to thanksgiving dinner*
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 26, 2015
Look at the people in the room with you. Tomorrow, one of them will die in a Target.
— Jon Daly (@jondaly) November 27, 2014
My favorite Thanksgiving tradition is finding mysterious crumbs on me for the next seven to ten work days.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) November 28, 2014
Thanksgiving. Oh god I hope my dad doesn’t ask abo-
“Did I ever show you kids the episode of woody the woodpecker where he says the n-word?”
— vineyille (@vineyille) November 21, 2016
Sorry I was sad and withdrawn at your Thanksgiving party and also all the other days I’ve been alive
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) November 28, 2015
if you didnt see a racist uncle at your thanksgiving that means you were the racist uncle
— jon hendren (@fart) November 27, 2015
Every year I hope someone in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade just stops, looks around, and says “Guys, what the fuck are we all doing”
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 24, 2015
Who’s ready for dinner?!
*family starts going nuts*
Ok here it comes!
*fires turkeys across the room out of a t-shirt cannon*
— Br&on the Cow (@Brampersandon_) November 22, 2016
For those of you who are alone on thanksgiving for $50 I’ll call you and ask you why you’re not married yet and when you’re getting a raise
— MattyTalks (@mattytalks) November 27, 2014
Friend: What are you going to make for Thanksgiving?
Me: Probably a scene.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) November 15, 2016
“Did you have a great thanksgiving?”
Uhm it was okay
*coworker gets beet red in face*
“I said “have a GREAT thanksgiving” on Wednesday pal”
— spooky luke (@internetluke) December 1, 2014
Before Christmas lights, people would set their houses on fire the day after Thanksgiving.
— Kim Monte (@KimmyMonte) November 21, 2016
THANKSGIVING: I’m thankful for this beautiful world we live in
BLACK FRIDAY: *beats an old lady to death with a 42″ Vizio LCD Smart TV*
— The Dogfather (@matt___nelson) November 28, 2015
Happy Saddest Day To Eat At Subway!
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) November 28, 2013
On Thanksgiving, when spending time with your loved ones, the most important thing to remember is that mother turkeys sing to their young.
— (((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 21, 2016
Stay in shape this Thanksgiving by running away every time you see someone you went to high school with.
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) November 27, 2014
A pretty safe bet this Thanksgiving, is declining any email invitation that begins with Fwd: FWD: Re: FWD: re: re: Fwd: fwd: RE: Fwd: Fwd:
— Erica (@SCbchbum) November 14, 2016
And we’re at the part of Thanksgiving night where my wife’s uncle is describing what technically constitutes a proper noose.
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) November 28, 2014
you don’t need thanksgiving to hate your family
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) November 17, 2012
Remember last year when you were four hours late?
Yes, mom, I do. It was the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had.
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) November 27, 2014
This movie poster looks like Sylvester Stallone took Michael B. Jordan aside to gently remind him about Thanksgiving pic.twitter.com/mEn0nNZKci
— Max Dylan Ash (@mynameisntdave) November 12, 2015
wasn’t really a fan of global warming but this weeks weather is beautiful & a thanksgiving time bbq would be lit
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) November 4, 2015
[obama thanksgiving dinner]
*obama carving turkey*
“Barry when do we open presents?”
Joe what are you even doing here
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) November 28, 2014
Why does everyone wait until Thanksgiving to see how much shit they can stuff in a turkey’s ass?
— Martin Parker (@parker287) November 15, 2012
WANTED: big, sexy black guys to accompany me to my racist cousin’s house on thanksgiving.
— Amber (@Amburglar_) November 20, 2016
Thankful for Happy Thanksgiving mass texts from people I haven’t heard from since last year’s Happy Thanksgiving mass text
— Dan Mason (@DanMasonTweets) November 27, 2014
coworker: how was your thanksgi-
me: *puts my finger to their lips* shhh…everyone who I want to know about my thanksgiving was there, ok?
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) November 30, 2015
If you’re looking for more Twitter fun, there are a ton of funny tweets for you to enjoy right here.