31.
“I was a bartender at a local place that was somewhat close to the university, but far enough away that it was a “hidden gem”; we used to get first dates all the time, most of them were Tinder-esque. I remember one time specifically, this guy comes in and sits down at a table alone, and kept checking his watch. A watch? I wander over, greet him, and ask what he’d like to start off with to drink. “Ummm, I dunno, I’m meeting someone, is it rude to have a drink already before they get here?” I smiled, asked if he was waiting for a date, he said yes, and I suggested a beer to sip on instead of a mixed drink; it might calm his nerves a bit, but won’t get him inebriated too quickly so he could enjoy his date. He agreed, apologized profusely for bothering me (which, he hadn’t bothered me at all) , and continued to wait. After about 20 mins of him waiting (and him checking his watch every 5), I wandered over again and asked if he’d like to look at a food menu, perhaps munch on something while he waited. He declined, and glanced at his watch again. I made a comment about his watch and how I appreciated his use of “analog technology”, and he laughed nervously and said he didn’t want to pull out or use his phone during his date, because he didn’t want to seem disingenuous (how cute!) Another 30 minutes pass, and my high-strung hopeful was still alone. I asked if he’d changed his mind about some food, and he merely shook his head, defeated…”I’ll just finish my beer and go…I’m sorry I wasted one of your tables…” On his last swig of beer, a cute looking girl walked in, eyeing the room, obviously looking for someone. “Chelsea! Over here!”, he started to stand, grin from ear to ear…the entrance was near my drink well, which I had just happened to be standing in. This night was particularly quiet, and the acoustics allow me to her chitter chatter in the entryway (curved ceilings)…I look over to the girl after seeing my hopeful’s eyes light up, and she had a disgusted look of, “dammit” in her face, she rolled her eyes and made contact with mine, sighed, and said, “are you fucking kidding me with this guy?”, screwed on her fake smile, and immediately sat down, avoiding a half-hug attempt by my hopeful. The entire date felt forced; every time I went to check on them, she was ordering another drink, and he was doing his best to try and pull conversation from this girl, who had her face in her phone the entire time. About an hour later, I watch the girl get up with her purse, announce that she had to use the restroom, and wandered away towards the restrooms. I immediately went over to my hopeful to ask how his date was going. “I don’t think she likes me…”, he trailed off. I gave him a pat on the shoulder, and said it looked to me like he was doing everything right. He smiled, thanked me, and I went back to my bar. The girl never came back. He footed her tab. $90 worth of drinks, his two beers were $8. He continued to come back as a regular, and I became his wing-woman. I eventually set up Mr Hopeful with Ms Lonely-heart. They’re still together.” –l34u05