Kate Hackett
It is hard to be so honest with yourself, and others, that you’re willing to look your worst qualities square in the face and acknowledge them. Even more so when you look your lowest times in the face and share them, which is exactly what people did in this viral Reddit thread.
Yesterday, u/MikBrasil asked
“People of Reddit, what is the situation that you thought to yourself ‘Yeah, this is my all-time low’?”
And the folks of Reddit gave some truly thoughtful answers. Peruse, raise a glass, and let us know in the comments what your favorite was.
1. Ex In-Laws
When I went to my ex-wife’s parents to plead for help dealing with their gambling addicted daughter. Poured my guts out explaining that if we didn’t get help for her soon we’d lose the only house our 3 sons have ever known. Over the last year we were together I stopped counting her loses once I hit $100k. Casino apps are no joke.
Anyway, her parents explained they had no idea en would step in asap. 2 weeks later my ex and her family got together over the weekend. They didn’t tell me anything other than keep an eye on the boys. No problem, figured it was an intervention.
Nope. They all went to the casino together. I filed 2 months later after realizing I could secure the house for my kids.
2. Getting Sober
I was at work, still drunk from the night before. I was starting to panic realizing that I would have a client in my office in a half hour and I looked like shit and felt worse.
The kicker? I worked in a drug and alcohol treatment center. I was the financial person and did the intake process with every client before they went to see their counselor.
I ended up going to my boss, fessing up, admitting that I had a problem and being told that I needed to get help or I’d have to be let go. I was faced with losing my job, which would lead to losing my home and probably custody of my child. I realized I was on the path to becoming my father and stepmother and I did NOT want that. I had to make a choice and my whole life hinged on that choice.
I’ve been sober over 17 years now.
3. This rental
When I rented a “room” in a house, and it was the 4’ x 7’ floor space behind a home basement bar, you could smell the dead rats in the wall.
4. A bit of a shituation
When I had been on a 3 day party trip and was going back to my apartment on the train. Started to sweat like mad and my stomach did NOT feel good. Tried to waddle myself home like a penguin, clenching my buttcheeks all the way. About 200m from my apartment building it didn’t work anymore and I shat my pants. Had to then shit the rest out on the pavement, and get home asap. I don’t think you could even measure the level of shame, anxiety and stupidity I felt at that time
5. Weight
When I got in my car and my gut was so big that even with the seat as far back as it could go, it would dig into the steering wheel. I had to suck in my gut before making turns.
Heaviest i’d been in my life. 100 lbs down from that weight though. Still going strong.
6. Mental health
Last year my mental health finally hit rock bottom. I was over my marriage, I hate being in the military, and I had little to no interest in anything. I drank heavily for about a month. I’m talkin whole handles in a day. One of those nights I planned to take my life. I was going to write out my note to the family and sit in my shower, bathroom door locked, and blow my brains out. I got as far as putting the barrel in my mouth but I was the only one with my kids and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Next day I had a psychiatric appointment and told them about my struggles and my plans to kill myself. They shipped me off to a mental health program for military members. I was there for two months going thru therapy, processing my traumas, and learning all of the science behind mental health. During that time my wife left me for another man, moved out of our home, and I had no idea until I got out and returned to an empty home. I think that time of my life and really that moment after I got home to an empty house, after working my ass off to better my mental health, definitely was the lowest point of my life. But on the bright side a year later I’m a lot happier. There’s no where to go but up once you hit that all time low.
7. Drunk driver hit me
Woke up with a tube down my throat, brace around my neck, cuts and bruises everywhere, unable to move with two cops right above me. I had to sit there while they explained to me I was hit by a driver who ran a light. I had to drop out of school for a year, lost my job and was in/out of treatments for over a year.
8. Ambien
After my divorce years ago, my buddy thought it was a good idea to give me a keg of Christmas ale. I sat alone at home and filled up an empty milk gallon jug every night with it and drank it until it was gone – but not before using it to wash down multiple Ambien in one sitting. I still look back and wonder how I’m still alive to talk about it.
9. She cared
Sitting in my home, wrecked from a failed overdose attempt, 20k in debt, no job, addicted to painkillers – and wondering if I called my Mom, if she would even care, or just tell me it was my problem to fix.
She cared. Spent the next 10 years putting me back together.
Mom died Tuesday morning. As bad as I feel (and having BPD, that’s pretty bad), I’m not going to backslide. I won’t make all her love and effort meaningless. I will keep things under control and moving forward.
10. Lost fiance
The day I found my fiance dead in her tub after having a seizure. It has been a little over a year now and I’m definitely doing better, but I don’t think I’ll ever have the happiness that i used to have.
11. Tough situation
Homeless, dope sick, and shitting in a tire in a vacant lot at 3am while trying to mix a bag of heroin I knew was just crushed up drywall (but I just had to make sure).
Checked in to detox the next day. That was 20 years ago.
12. Pawned Ring
I pawned my wedding ring to get money to feed my pill addiction. It opened my eyes though and I ended up cleaning up after a few more months and getting my ring back. My wife worked her ass off to buy me that ring and I was such an addicted piece of shit that I pawned it for a fix. Glad that moment finally woke me up though. 11 years clean now.
13. Feedback loop
When I think to myself “do I have enough alcohol to get myself through the weekend?” and buy a bottle of Vodka just in case. Then spending the weekend feeling like shit and hating myself wondering why I’m not happy.
Negative feedback loops exist and are a bitch. If you get remove yourself from it for 2 weeks, I promise you’ll get better.
14. Suicide room
Sitting in the suicide naughty room of the ER trying to figure out how to eat the applesauce they brought me without access to any utensils. Ended up using the lid as a kind of scoop which was good enough.
Definitely an all time low. Thankfully I’m medicated, in therapy, and doing much better now! And I can eat my applesauce with spoons like a big girl!
15. First month of quarantine
It was the first month of real quarantine. My wife said she wanted a divorce, I was on indefinite furlough from my job, had to move in with my mom who wound up dying six weeks later, my car was repossessed and I was trapped living out in the middle of nowhere, no income, unable to get a job and I had no friends because my ex was abusive and had cut me off from everyone I knew so I had no family or support systems left. That was rock bottom for me.
16. First thought
I was in the throws of an alcohol addiction and went over to my elderly neighbor’s house to play some cribbage. I found him laying on his couch and I thought he may have simply died there. My first thought was, naturally, to grab his wallet and run.
17. Wild weekend
Spent over $1k in a weekend on a combination of alcohol, phone sex lines, and a few prostitutes. The only free call I made that weekend was to the suicide hotline
18. Ew!
At the height of my alcoholism in my 20’s, waking up with my face on the bathroom floor, glued to the tiles by my own vomit… that kind of snapped me out of my heavy drinking era. Now, 20 years later, I still remember that feeling, the smell, all of that, and it keeps me from drinking too much. Enjoy alcohol in moderation. 😀
19. Jeez!
Boyfriends parents sat me down to tell me they think their son deserves better while he watched and said nothing.
20. PTSD
My third to last base in my military. Was suffering from PTSD and survivors guilt, in a VERY bad way. Was at a new base, no friends around, no family, and having to re-adapt to a new situation, all over again.
Couldnt sleep because of the nightmares, and couldnt stay awake because of no sleep. Started drinking heavily…Like, would start a 2 litre of tequila a day, finish it the next, and start drinking the second bottle right after…Every day…Started going to work drunk. Started doing everything drunk….would drink while playing games…would drink to sleep…Fuck, I was drinking while taking a piss or shit…
Gained a lot of weight….Felt like a piece of shit…Couldnt maintain a relationship to save my life..Military career started to tank hard, and during my last official deployment (from this same base), thought about ending it all….Couldnt pull the trigger cause I cried myself to away from the gun, when I realized nobody would give a fuck anyways….Just another suicide statistic and another mandatory briefing for my co-workers…This was between 2013-2014…but realistically started in 2011 and ran until 2019.
That was the lowest point in my life. And things didnt really start improving until…2020 (ironically), after I spent my first year sober. Trying again this year, and hoping to be done with it all for good. Worked through most of my issues, but the habits are a bitch to get rid of.
