Masha
11.
When I was 13 we went to my 2nd cousin’s wedding. Everything is going great… They even got past the speak now or forever hold your peace part. They wrote their own vows but before my 2nd cousins fiance/wife could even begin her vows his son got up announced to the entire room that she was cheating on his dad with her drug dealer and he couldn’t let his dad marry her.
My 2nd cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left, my 2nd cousin married her anyways, and 5 years and one baby later he finds out it was true and they separated but were to tweeked out to be able to afford a divorce.
Finally he got married a third time but before he could get married his third now ex wife had to pay for their divorce. This wedding had no objections.
They moved to Missouri and this time instead of separating or asking for a divorce he decided he didn’t want to be married anymore and just moved back to Cali… To get back together with his second ex wife.
Yepp family dinners are a little awkward.
12.
My friend almost paid me to do it at my dads marriage and i was so close to agreeing but my dad overheard and stopped me.
I would have done it for free if i knew how f**king crazy that stupid woman was back then…
13.
A wedding I was at, one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons including one guy’s love for the groom. By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!
14.
I was at an outdoor ceremony once, with a storm coming in. The pastor was trying to move things along so that we wouldn’t get caught in the rain (the reception was indoors). He asked if anyone knows of any objection, and instantly, there was a loud clap of thunder. To his credit, the pastor just paused a moment and then said: “Anyone else? Alright, in that case…” and finished the ceremony.
15.
Nobody had said “speak now”, but the grooms ex still decided to get up and scream that he was her soulmate, that she forgave him for “this whole thing”, and that they should leave now because he’d proven his point.
By breaking up with her, five years earlier, falling in love, and holding a wedding. I ate so much cake and got so drunk at that wedding. Meanwhile everyone else was screaming and throwing sh*t. Good times. The bride was my boyfriends ex.
No idea why they invited us.
16.
I went to a wedding when I was 5, it was between my Older Brother and his fiance. Anyways, they said the whole “speak now” speil and right before he was done little 5 year old me said “I OBJECT!” And everyone turned to me. I was dead silent because I didn’t know what would happen. My dad asked me “Well, why do you object?” And I said “I did not know what would happen if I did” and I was promptly seated.
17.
My wife drug me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago but I’m forever grateful that she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place.
This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops.
Bride’s LOVER spoke up at that moment and yelled, “I’ll be god-damned if I’m gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of sh*t!” This deranged old redneck proceeds to come at the groom WITH A PISTOL threatening to shoot him if he doesn’t give her up.
It wasn’t a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people but every single one of them went screaming and running and maybe 2 people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife’s hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.
18.
When my sister married her now ex-husband and thry asked for objections i just screamed “I DONT LIKE HIIIIIIM, HE’S NOT PRETTY” and started bawling. I was 5 at the time.
19.
A member of my wife’s family had a pirate themed wedding. A rival pirate appeared and objected to the wedding. The groom dueled him with rapiers and won.
20.
The groom himself. He just stood up there and started crying and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he’d fallen out of love with her a while before but he didn’t know how to break it off.
It was extremely uncomfortable, they both stepped out, and ten minutes later came back out and got married, because she’d apparently told him she was pregnant.
They’re still together, with three kids, and I’m not sure about the husband but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them are happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn’t have the spine to leave.
