Stephanie Barnes
Being embarrassed by our parents is something most of us have had to deal with growing up.
They say the wrong things in front of our friends, they refuse to buy that one thing we think we need to be popular, or they just aren’t as “hip” as other parents.
It’s a normal part of life, right? But how different would your childhood have been if your parent was an adult film star?
In a recent Reddit thread, users are answering the question: “Children of pornstars—what was it like growing up?”
While no one should be judged for working in the sex industry, people can be cruel and many of these answers include kids being bullied for their parents’ occupations.
But it’s not all bad, there are a few great stories here too.
Here are 20 people sharing stories about growing up around pornstars.
1. Weird things in the mail
One day when I was in 2nd grade I checked the mail and discovered 2 returned photos of my mom and step dad each posing individually, completely naked. I imagine they were “trying out” for a porno?? Or something..? I still don’t know. But when my mom saw me looking at the photos she quickly grabbed them and we never spoke of it again. I’m 27 now. Neither are attractive and oddly enough they both ended up divorced and pretty miserable. I’m fairly sure they did not get the job.
2. Life lessons
Mum wasn’t a flat out porn star but she danced at one of the older strip clubs in Vegas- Glitter Gultch. Most men flirt with her but because it was only adults seeing her naked or going into a private room for other services so it never bled over into teasing by children. I just learned at a young age that you could pay your bills with your body but if you stay in the industry the more risk to your person is involved physically, mentally, and emotionally.
3. “My mom was an escort in the 90s…”
Even so successful that she ran her own service and eventually only took the higher scale clients. I remember being 8,9,10 years old in Chicago, New York and Atlanta hotels, and able to buy / order anything I wanted. We had personal computers in every bed room in 1997 which wasn’t common. Catalog and early online orders. She at first actually said she “worked in computers” until I called her cell and her voicemail had a different name on it. Brooke, her name was Kim & My dad got a New computer Christmas one year and she didn’t even know how to turn it on. By the next year she was open and honest about what she did. Between her and my dad, they had the service, a strip club and a pizza shop. My brother got mopeds and gas or electric scooters for gifts, dirt bikes to ride in the backyard. Our house was a constant party. My brother started smoking weed, and selling it (he was in high school) and my mom would have it delivered by the pound in laundry baskets to “support” his “business venture”. We had a vending machine in the strip club, that my brother and I were allowed to manage for lessons in business.
4. Someone else’s mom
Someone from my high school.
His mom was “locally famous” for some apparent extreme sex tapes.
He was teased non-stop about it once kids found out.He ended up leaving the country the moment he turned 18 (which was in the middle of his senior year) after legally changing his name.
I wasn’t in his class (I was a year under) but from what I remember, he hated his mom and was extremely aggressive in his last year before running off.
5. “My friend’s mom…”
Not me, my friend’s mom had been a nude model for motorcycle pinup magazines and nudie spreads in the 70s or 80s before he was born. I knew this guy for probably 3 years from hanging out at mutual friends’ homes before finally going to his place. He never mentioned his mom being a nude model before, but when we walked in to the house, his parents were sitting in the living room smoking cigarettes under this giant poster sized photo of her topless and sprawled out on a motorcycle, looking very seductive and horny. He explained it later and said this is why he rarely has friends over.
6. Daddy’s nudes
My dad was in a nude magazine that circulated in the 90’s all around Australia called Picture Magazine. He was no porn star by any means. But he did have a nude picture inside of a magazine. People brought the picture to school I would show it to me like I haven’t seen my dad walk around the house naked. I was less embarrassed when I managed to wrangle this comeback “why you got a naked picture of a guy in your backpack dude?”
7. Back in her early 20’s
I’m late but I’ll give my personal take as the daughter of a mom who did porn in her early 20’s.
I didn’t even know until I was around 15 so it didn’t affect me before that honestly. My mom moved on to non-porn line of work so it’s not like I grew up near it or really grew up while she was still in the industry or anything like that. Also, she’s not one of the extremely popular ones that a ton of people would know so she most likely wouldn’t get recognized on the street I don’t think haha.
My cousin was actually the one who told me (but didn’t show me anything) and I confirmed it with my mom later on. Pretty awkward for me to say the least haha.
Also, I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of it really and I don’t have any traumatic stories that relate to this tbh. Not sure what else I should add.
8. Inappropriate
My middle school banned my parents from coming to my graduation/promotion because it was “inappropriate” to have them there.
9. Does porn artist count?
My dad has been drawing furry art for 30 something years. Growing up he was just the art dad for me and my sister. When I was much younger he worked at a few different studios, but eventually he started staying at home and drawing in his art room. He of course drew a bunch of funny cartoon animals and we I loved it. Our house was very furry. Both he and my mom are deep into it.
Once we got our own laptops with parental controls off (home comp always had strict controls for obvious reasons) at around 14 or so all bets were kinda off. Of course the first thing we’d do is google his art, so instead of keeping it a secret he and my mom sat us down and told us what he was doing for a living now. Straight up furry porn.
Truth be told, 14 year old me was pretty f–king shocked. Like I remember my initial reaction wondering if my parents were into bestiality or something. I liked furry art but didn’t think it would be pornified.
Turns out it’s a pretty sweet gig though. Around this time he and my mom started doing conventions, flying around selling art since me and my sister were old enough to be left alone. Of course most of his workload was commissions.
10. Sister’s story
My sister was in the adult industry and the last time something like this got asked my inbox was filled with people telling me to kill myself :’)
So having a relative in the adult industry ripped our family apart, my mum still cries at the lack of relationship she has with her daughter and we all live so far apart from each other and hardly talk.
Kids at my school would try and trick me to watch the movies, print stills and give them to me … basic bullying.
It wasn’t good and it still all hurts.
11. Not that memorable
I didn’t know until I was older that she did old-school Playboy-type stuff. I was shocked when I learned about it but since i never really knew as a kid it didn’t affect me all the much.
12. Nude model
My mom isn’t a pornstar, but a nude model for painters, photographers. this was her only secure job, but she always worked hard so that we have everything we need. she is an excellent, loving, caring mom. always made sure that I go to the best school, get the best food, always bought me good clothes, and for a single parent she did a terrific job.
13. Quirky but good
My older half brothers dad was a porn star. He loved to open the door naked. He did it at my wedding in fact. That’s about it. He was actually an incredibly amazing man. Good to the bone. Great husband. Good dad. Volunteered. Recycled.
A bit quirky but good.
14. Not mommy, but cousin
Not mother, but cousin who used to babysit me. She became a model and did some nude work she was proud of.
Didn’t bother me or really impact me at all really. Since we grew up together I never viewed her as having anything “sexual” about her. She was just the older kid I’d play and horse around with when we were young. I was glad she was pursuing her passion/career.
REALLY disturbed my friends and girlfriend though, because they thought she looked like a female version of me to an unsettling extent. Couldn’t get the image out of their heads.
15. Your mom looks familiar!
I went to 3 high schools in 3 states. The “I know your mom from somewhere” got really old really fast. Caused plenty of fights. The “can I have hee Porn Star name” still hasn’t ended, and she stopped in 2000. So many drugs, so much alcohol. I didn’t have a mom. I had a fu***d up monster. It was horrid.
16. Too young to realize
My mother in law was in the adult industry for a stint in the 90s. My husband was too young to realize it, just thought that Mom had a lot of cool outfits at the time. I’m not sure when he found out, but she’s open about it. All (4) of her boys have a respect for her for doing it, she was feeding them all on her own without assistance and that’s honestly at the heart of it what a good mother does. She’s a rock star to us for taking what she had and making sure her boys were taken care of.
17. “My mother was a prostitute…”
However i suspected that she may have done porn at some point. I never had it confirmed but it was enough to scare me away from porn and I lived in fear of other kids finding out. It was bad enough when they found out that she was a pro. If they would have had actual video evidence to confront me with, i don’t think i would have made it. The only way i was able to cope with it as it was, was to just acknowledge that she was a prostitute and not get worked up when other kids would talk about what they did with her last night. I just had to learn to roll with it and tell them that her f–king them didn’t make them special since she will screw anything for a $20 bill. Having no respect for her made it easier to live with rather than having to fight everyone at school over it.
18. So. Much. Trauma.
I didn’t know what my Mom did growing up. It wasn’t until I was a teenager when my siblings told me because they were tired of waiting for me to figure it out on my own.
It definitely messed with me. I was pretty embarrassed not figuring it out sooner. At my sister’s baby shower one of my mom’s co-workers and her daughter were there. The daughter asked me how I coped with what our Moms did, and I was so confused. At the time I thought she was volunteering at the police station as some sort of social worker. I think the daughter figured out quickly I was oblivious and changed the subject.
My brother found out early because my Mom needed his help moving things into her ‘studio’ – a separate apartment I didn’t know she had. My older sister was always in the know.
She started out of high school when she got into modeling. Then lingerie modeling. There were some photo albums in my mom’s room that were pretty spicy. My brother’s friends found them once… that’s a different trauma, lol.
I have a jaded view on sex work because of my Mom. If it’s really okay, why did she have to lie about it most of my life? I feel like I never really knew her. That her life choices put up a wall between us that never came down.
I have a friend that got into cam work, and it bothers me because she has children. Will they go through the same sort of secrecy?
