People Are Confessing Their ‘Dirtiest Little Secrets’ And No! No No NO!

We all do disgusting things. For example, you’re probably reading this post on the toilet. That’s okay. No one can see you scrolling through the phone you press to your face in the room filled with poop particles. And no one should! Dirty little secrets are private because it would horrify everyone to hear them out loud.

Also, keeping them a secret makes them way more fun.

Redditor u/WeTheSummerKid turned to popular subreddit r/AskReddit, demanding people’s “dirty little secrets.” Scrolling through them is like seeing a mirror of all your past misdeeds—the nose picking, the lack of hand washing, the petty lies! Almost. Some people’s dirty little secrets are so weird and specific, they’ll burn into your brain forever. Read on if you dare. You might look at everyone around you a little differently after.

1.

I house broke my dogs by going into the back yard and peeing/pooping with them out there — Shadow__Net

2.

My roommate pisses on the toilet seat, so I wipe it off with his face towel, and put it back. — ShotgunToetag

3.

Sometimes I go in to the fridge when nobody’s looking and drink coffee cream from the carton — CabinKaiser69

4.

I actually don’t hide cheese very often. — HiderOfCheese

5.

My family doesn’t know that I paid for my Xbox One by selling smut online for lucrative gains; I told them I had some money from my birthday left over. — RollerKirbyDerby

6.

There’s been several times in my life where I ran out of toilet paper and used the cardboard tube to wipe, you just gotta make do sometimes. — loboloco812

7.

“I can’t be sexually aroused when someone else is involved. On my own, hell yeah. The moment another person is involved I just can’t perform.” —swishywashy

8.

The bottle of vodka my parents have never opened has been filled with water since I was about 15 or 16. I’m 23 now and it’s still in the same spot i left it. — shitheadboot1122

9.

When I was in college, my roommate and I went to the grocery store. We were about to get in line when we saw they were having a sale on flowers. She bought a bouquet for me, and I for her.

We told everyone that a couple of guys bought us the flowers, “Some pretty flowers for some pretty girls.” — jessdb19

10.

When I was little my moms husband told me that Bloody Mary was real and she would come out of the mirror and murder me. My mom always had to be in the bathroom to wash me or when I went to the bathroom. Eventually she got tired of it and stopped taking me so I stopped going to the bathroom.

I started going behind her bedroom door and would grab a newspaper and pretend I was reading if she caught me. She seen me the first time and left thinking nothing of it. Then she came back and grabbed the newspaper and I realized how fcked I was. Had my pants down and everything pretending I was “interested” in a newspaper at like 6 years old. Great times. — seriousquestionTA

11.

I pee every time I shower. — bakagee

12.

i eat hamburger helper with applesauce — prettyskies

13.

“First time I came was in a water jug. It’s been years now and my family still uses that jug.” —JOLU1

14.

This is probably not as extreme as other people’s comments, but I feel like sharing it anyway.

So when I was in the sixth grade, the toilets were absolutely awful since hygene didn’t exist in that school.

I Always held up my poo until I was home since I couldn’t for the life of me sit on a toilet seat that was so disgusting.

But one time.. I had to go really badly, and school was still gonna take around 3 hours. So I went to the toilet, opened the door, and went Fuck It mode and shat in the middle of the bathroom on the ground. So I went back to class, everyone was doing their own thing and I sat down like nothing happened. Then, 5 minutes later, a kid storms into the class and yelled ‘THERE IS A HUGE SH—T IN THE BATHROOM!’ so of course, as six grade kids, they all ran to see the glorious dung I layed.

I followed them to not look suspicious. After about 20 minutes of yelling and poop jokes, the teacher came up to me and said ‘Didn’t you go to the toilet a while ago?’ and I, as a trained professional liar, said ‘Yeah, I saw a kid running away right before I entered the bathroom’. Noone has ever suspected me since. And to this day, it was the best shit I ever had. — LeaveMeAloneNormies

15.

“I like to pluck hairs from my butthole with my fingers. Sometimes I don’t wash them after.” —dailydonuts16

16.

“I have a tiny, tiny scat fetish and a major, major water sports fetish.” — flippermode

17.

Mum has yet to find the piss drawer. — VileWasTaken

Mum probably has found the piss drawer and has decided not to talk about it. That’s her little secret.