Bless you, u/Residential_Raccoon, for asking the question AskReddit was made for:
“What’s the dumbest way you’ve managed to get laid?”
Enjoy the responses below!
1. Lost
A girl I met in class was lost for her next class. Showed her the way and got her number (you know, if she gets lost again). We parted for the day. She was pretty so I ran the story to my roommate. Roommate decided to play a dumb joke by sending her a message saying that I miss her already. She texted her dorm address. Brought some food but she wanted to do something else. That was it.
2. First One!
My friend was at the club and he’s the kind of guy that doesn’t go to clubs at all. He saw a girl on the dance floor he liked and we all told him he should go talk to her. He went down and 10 min later we see him walking out the club with the girl he liked. We were all shocked he got a girl the first try. The next day we asked what happened and he told us he just complimented how good her belly button looked. We all laughed our ass off.
3. Cleanliness
Spotless bathroom, she told me later she was undecided until she seen my bathroom was spotless.
4. Tidy Man!
The first time I went to my current fella’s apartment he asked me to take my shoes off at the door because he has light colored carpet. He had a candle lit, had dusted recently, and his T-shirt’s were hung up in his closet. I’ve never been so attracted to a person in my life.
5. Brokeback
Went to see Brokeback Mountain with a girl. Not really dumb, but not the movie I expected to get any after watching.
6. Ramen
Let a girl eat some of my ramen at a party, she insisted on having more and I told her there was plenty more back at my apartment.
7. Car trouble
I jump started a girls car.
8. Joking
I pretty much just asked, and it was someone I hadn’t been flirting with or detected any attraction from.
I was asking as a joke, and they said sure.
I was still wondering during when we were going to end the joke.
9. She liked feet
A woman at my job said that my feet were sexy. I was wearing sandals. I said ok, thanks. Before our workday was over she asked if I wanted to go to her place, I was like, sure, thinking this was just a social visit. We get to her place and she says, you need to shower, I was like, ummm ok. I took a shower and she steps in as well and from there on we had lovely sex but she was indeed into feet and spent a lot of time sucking my toes which I learned that day did nothing for me.
10. Bar
I was at a bar and a girl sat down next to me.
Her: What brings you here?
Me: tryna get laid
Her: lol, me too.
Me: (looking around the room). Yeah, there’s some good looking people here.
Her: (says nothing, just stares at me)
Me: Oh!
11. Brownies
Met a girl. Asked her out to dinner. She agreed. Few nights later we are out. As we are concluding dinner I tell her the desert at this restaurant sucks but I have some better desert at my place. I was being sincere, as I had some homemade desert a coworkers SO had made me recently and it was delicious (still some of the best fudge brownies I’ve ever had, and I had some vanilla ice cream to pair with it).
We go back, and she asks to use the bathroom. I go to the kitchen to prep desert. I soon here her call my name from the bedroom (bed room was connected to bathroom by closet) which I found odd. Walk in, girl is very naked and in a position of preparedness for lack of a better term, and I’m standing there dumbfounded with a big bowl full of brownies and ice cream with two spoons.
The sex was great, and the brownies afterward were bangin. By far one of my more eventful evenings.
12. Fake Irish
Spent the evening jokingly pretending to be Irish and married to a also completely non Irish lady in the smokers corner. Many jokes were had. She put her arms around my shoulders and said “take me home paddy and show me that you love me”. So I did.
13. Can I text?
“Hey professor, can I text you if I get stuck?”
That turned into dinner, drinks, and…quite a debacle at my university.
14. Daring
We were walking home and we both dared each other to get naked. The obvious thing ensued.
15. Sexy Con
My now wife and I were at a con and were changing in the hotel room. She was somewhere else for the moment so I put on my Red Power Ranger costume I brought and did a sexy pose on the bed as I waited for her. I must’ve looked like a fucking idiot, but by God it worked.
16. Wait… who are you?
I thought the girl sitting by me at the bar was a girl I had already slept with for like the first five minutes of the conversation. By the time I had realized my mistake, I had already successfully broken the ice. We had sex in my car in the parking lot. God what happened to my life?
17. Petco ftw!
So I just picked up my dog from Petco after getting him groomed and ran inside to pay my bill and pick up some dog treats. The girl at the register was clearly having a bad day, we chatted up a bit, and she explained she just got dumped by a guy over a tattoo. I told her that I was having a shit day too, and if she wanted to give me a call after she is off and I’ll buy her a beer. Later that evening she sent me a text asking if I wanted to see the tattoo she got dumped over. I said yes, she then sent me a picture of a pair wolf paws tattooed on her tits. I just responded nice and she then asked if I wanted to see them in person. I just sent her my address, and about 20 minutes later I had some very awesome rebound sex.
18. Googlin’
We missed dinner reservations, so I suggest we go back to my place to find another restaurant (pre smart phone era, I lived near by and wanted to Google something), we ended up having sex and snacking on whatever was in my kitchen.
19. Admission
I lost my virginity by admitting I still had it. I said the three words “I’m a virgin” and within five minutes I wasn’t anymore.
20. Clueless
Friend had passed out at my house after a party. Next morning, She asks to take a shower before headed home. Sure.
After water running (she’s naked) she asked me to come help her with the temperature. We’re good friends, I’d seen her naked before so it was odd but I’m no prude. I Help her out.
2 minutes later She ask if I have an extra toothbrush. She’s still not in the shower yet. I hop to it grab her one. She looks me square in my stupid face and says, “so…do you wanna have sex or no?”
I pause…look back at her and gather myself.
Me: “yup.”