Aimeé
On subreddit r/AmITheA**hole, anyone can find out if they acted like a big a**hole or not because people will directly tell you. One Redditor going by the handle u/abc_throwaway7 wanted to know if she went too far dealing with another girl who has been pursuing her boyfriend.
The story is that she is 19, in college, and dating a total hottie. He’s so hot that other girls are always flirting with him. She’s never cared much until a girl named Victoria came into their lives.
Victoria is apparently obsessed with the OP’s boyfriend and works hard to be included in every group with him, even going so far as to step down from a better role in a play so she could perform in a part where they kiss on stage.
The OP says she never said or did anything about it, but she’s heard Victoria talk about how into this guy she is and that she wants to see him break up with the OP. Kind of a lot to overhear, but whatever. Anyway, things escalated to a breaking point:
I’ve never said anything to her about it, because she seems pretty insecure (always complaining about how she thinks she’s ugly) and I don’t see it as a big deal because my boyfriend doesn’t care. However, we recently performed the play and had a small afterparty where she got slightly drunk and was bragging about how she ‘definitely felt something’ when they kissed in the play and she’s ‘going to ask him if he felt the same’. I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went up to my boyfriend. She was a little bit drunk, and when she went up to him I was there too.
Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he’s a really good kisser, etc. I snapped, and sort of shouted at her that ‘you sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else’s boyfriend. You’re pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together.’
She looked super embarrassed and walked away, and I later heard she’d gone home crying. I feel like a dick because she’s obviously insecure and whatnot, and her friends haven’t stopped calling me a bitch since. AITA?
Edit: She 100% knows that I am his girlfriend, I have heard her talking about me being his girlfriend before.
Now, most people think that the OP is definitely not the a**hole here. She didn’t say anything as this girl pursued her man, she showed remarkable restraint, etc.
It’s hard not to go off on someone who is trying so hard to come into your relationship and mess it up. But one Redditor, ErrantJune wrote that the whole situation reeks of DRAMA:
You’re teenage drama students, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that there’s so much teenage drama here, but come on. You couldn’t think of a more appropriate way to address this woman’s relentless and obvious daily pursuit of your boyfriend over the course of weeks (if not months) than shouting at her at a party in order to humiliate her?
You couldn’t, I don’t know, at any time just say, “Hey, I don’t know if you realize but [boyfriend] and I are in a committed relationship”???
You all need to grow up.
In response to that, the_og_cakesniffer wrote, “Or like, letting the boyfriend handle the girl by himself. I’m pretty sure he’s capable of saying ‘no I’m not interested’ all by himself.”
Yeah. It’s not that surprising that a bunch of drama student teenagers who are drunk at a party are acting like kids, but for the adults in the room, don’t let things come to this point. You might not be an a**hole, but you’d definitely be acting like a child.
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