Lazy People Confess The Laziest Things They’ve Ever Done (15 Stories)

Lazy people of the world, unite. Do you often refuse to eat meals because you don’t want to cook? How about skimping on personal hygiene? Do you ask friends or family to do exceedingly simple tasks so you don’t have to get off of the couch? Ever come up with an elaborate technique to make your life even more lazy-enabled? Hey, I once hid dirty dishes in the oven so I wouldn’t have to wash them. If you can’t see it, it’s not there!

On Reddit, unashamedly lazy people are sharing the laziest things they have every done. And honestly, a lot of this behavior sounds like depression to me, but who am I to judge? 

1.

“Didn’t want to make lunch, so I just…didn’t eat.” — Daft-CJ

2. 

“I once put instructions to go to the right side of the house and deliver a pizza to the first window (my bedroom). I didn’t feel like walking to the front of the house to get my pizza. Driver obliged, and got a very nice tip.” — stickyWithWhiskey

3. 

“I was in a bar once and was too lazy to leave and go across the street to pick up food for dinner so I had them deliver it to me on the second barstool from the left.” — childlikeempress16

4. 

“When i was about 7 or 8, I had a small piece of paper (think it was a candy wrapper) which I had to discard. I was too lazy to walk to the kitchen to throw it into the bin so I ate it.” — frownface84

5. 

“Waiting six months instead of changing the clocks for daylight savings.” — OffshoreTaxWankersFC

6. 

“When I was a teenager and on summer break I once spent 3 days on a lazy boy in my living room watching TV. I’m more comfortable not wearing pants but people kept coming and going so I pretended to wear shorts for 3 days by just laying them over my legs. My parents were concerned to say the least.” — ArtemisIsFoul

7. 

“Going to sleep early instead of cooking myself dinner.” — babyishAuri

8. 

“My dad was infamous for this but I learned a lot of Latino dads did this. I would be in my room and he would call for me like if he’s getting attacked. When I meet him in the living room, he would ask me to hand him the remote…that’s on the same couch…a little more than arm’s reach.” — YellowStar012

9. 

“I never like to go to bed without brushing and flossing my teeth. However, I despise the actual process of brushing and flossing even though it takes all of a few minutes. And so the number of times in the past that I’ve stayed up several hours later than I meant to just because I didn’t feel like taking a few minutes to brush and floss is just sad. (I don’t really do this so much anymore though. I still hate it but I just kinda just grit my teeth and go for it so I can go to bed when I actually mean to, lol.)” — lostmyaccountsoyeah

10. 

“When I was younger I was a real brat (15ish) and asked my mum to bring me crackers. Clearly I was too lazy to get off my arse and get it myself. A few minutes later I tried to shut my door but couldn’t reach it with my hands so I kicked it with my feet. Unbeknownst to me my mum was waking in with the crackers at that exact moment and slammed the door into her and the crackers. God I’m an awful person.” — dafaqisgoingondud

Patricia Grisafi

Patricia Grisafi, PhD, is a freelance writer and educator. Her work has appeared in Salon, Vice, Bitch, Bustle, Broadly, The Establishment, and elsewhere. She is passionate about pit bull rescue, cursed objects, and designer sunglasses.