Men Are Sharing The Most Disgusting Things They Do In Private Aaaand That’s Enough Internet For Today

So…I stumbled across this Reddit thread started by u/youknowthatimnot, who asked, “Men of Reddit, what is the most disgusting thing you do in private?” before adding, “Only asking because my brother (a grown-ass 24 yr old man) is currently in the bathroom taking a dump while eating a bowl of lucky charms…” and the update: “He literally came out of the bathroom asking if we have a plunger.”

Well, friends. I learned a lot. I hope you do too, but be forewarned: you may never look at your fellow humans the same way again, as demonstrated by the following testimonials (Reddit comments):

“After reading this thread, I am no longer disgusted by what I do in private anymore.”—LogicReddit

“1/3 of you are normal, 1/5 are questionable and 1/2 of y’all are f**king disgusting, and I don’t even care that my math makes no sense.—Citizen01123


I haven’t met anyone so far that didn’t think peeing in the shower was gross. I’m sure they’re liars but still. I also blow my nose in to my hand in the shower and just wash it away.—Dynasty2201


Use wet wipes to finger my a**hole after pooping to get it as clean as possible Update: huh, and just like that my top comment is about fingering my a**. Update: Well I guess I’m getting a bidet now.—warewolfjesus


I jack it in the work bathroom sometimes. Sometimes you just gotta jack it before you can get back to work.—emartinoo


Probably pick my toenails, sometimes I do it with my teeth—LEGORomanSoldier


Enioy the smell of my farts. I guess it’s true everybody likes the smell of their own brand.—gratefulphish420


Eat my disposable contacts when I’m done with them I guess. I don’t think it’s gross but last time I mentioned it people wigged out.—TheBlueberryPirate


Not me but my friend removes the drain grate and poops in it when he showers.—wiggy2g


I sometimes piss in empty water bottles. I have no clue why.—allmoneyin


Pee exclusively in the sink when I’m at home.—musicalspheres


I have a “punish towel” in my bed side table for late night or early morning cleanups. Wash it every couple weeks or so. It’s easier than socks and whatnot—justtwiggy


My cousin and her fiancé eat each other’s booger’s they look at them and then offer them to each other. They don’t do it privately either,..—LPickleRickl


If you sit on the toilet backwards, you can use the tank as a table so you don’t have to hold the bowl of cereal while you shit. You’re welcome.—kreative19


Sometimes I eat my dinner in bed in front of the TV, completely naked. I will occasionally drop some food on my gorilla hairy chest, I take the food and check it for hair and if it’s ok I’ll eat it. Today it was cream cheese and it had no hair but I do remember one time eating some of my own hair chest while doing this and it was f**king disgusting.—Lvnatic92


I got horny and half way through eating a bowl of Mac and cheese I got curious, came in it, then continued eating. I felt sick after a few bites once my horny levels went down.—YOGZULA


I’ve gotten into the habit of urinating in old beer cans in my room in the middle of the night because I’m too lazy to walk upstairs and use the bathroom—lacrose4ever


In private as in only when we’re with the two of us. My boyfriend makes me smell his farts, like he yells ‘Fast!’ and I run/climb/roll over to wherever he is and I put my face in front of his arse. He also makes me “eat” his bellybutton fluffs. With consent.—otter105


Feed my dog boogers—AlwaysFrontin


Suck water up my nose and blow it out in the shower. Learned this trick as a dry waller and while it’s nasty in the moment, boy does it feel great after. Edit: didn’t know this could be dangerous.—FA8LE


I have a poop loofah. I’m a hairy man who has a hairy ass. That means I’ll occasionally get dingle berries if I dont take care of myself. So I bought a brown colored loofah once and I use it when showering so I can scrub in between my butt cheeks to get it squeaky clean. I use head and shoulders with it so my ass hair is as clean as possible. The gross part is that I’ve had that loofah for probably 5 years now. I should probably replace it.—Joko_on_Smoko


I found rock candy on the dirty as floor of my car, got super excited and put it in my mouth. It was just a rock.—fckfcktyfckfck0