Patricia Grisafi
Content Warning: Self-harm
It can be hard to admit difficult things about yourself and your life. Some people find that they have a degree on privacy, paradoxically, but telling their secrets on the Internet. Maybe there is a sense of relief in sharing the burden of trauma, loss, or embarrassment with a community who doesn’t know who you are and will likely never meet you.
On Reddit, people are sharing the most private things they are willing to admit – and hopefully feeling some relief in doing do.
1. Almost Didn’t Make It To The Toilet
“I almost sh*t myself on my first date while walking home with them because the food didn’t agree with me. I barely made it to the toilet.” — G4rg0yle_Art1st
2. Screaming In The Woods
“Sometimes I go into the woods to scream. Not like to release stress, just to scream like a wild man.” — Steves_bad_day
3. Breakdown
“I’m pretending to have my life together, but secretly I’m always on the edge of a breakdown. I hold on by my fingernails for the sake of my family because I love them to pieces. I hope they never realise I’m one step from disaster.” — Wonderful_Candle8218
4. Envy
“I envy people with functional families.” — hMajestic
5. Leave My Life Behind
“I just wanna leave my life behind and start over somewhere. Not telling my friends and family anything. Just leave…” — chrissrr1214
6. No Idea
“I’m 32 and have no idea what I’m doing in my life.” — LastGunsl1nger
7. Health Risks
“In the past week, my grandfather who recently suffered a stroke had a fall and hit his head. He has a doc’s appointment coming up to tell us whether he will have lasting neurological damage. My mother, who takes care of him recently had surgery to remove one of her kidneys due to complications with diabetes. Two days before my grandfather’s fall she found out from her nephrologist that her other kidney is failing. If her health takes a dive, she’ll be unable to care for him, and it will fall on me to be there for both of them. I live several hours away and after years of struggle am only just now getting my own life in order with a job I like and making decent money. Three days ago I had a doctor’s appointment and found out my blood pressure is ‘high enough to be cause for concern.’ Heart disease runs on my father’s side and he died of a heart attack when he was 43. Apparently that’s not uncommon for the men on that side of the family. My father was never really a part of my life, so I’m only finding some of this out now, in my 30’s. According to my mother, a pediatrician once told her I have a ‘slight heart murmur.’ Didn’t know that until this week either. To top it all off, my current partner recently had her yearly checkup and the doctor discovered multiple masses in both of her breasts. It will be a week or two before we find out if they are benign or not. Cancer runs in her family and she has been in remission for several years. I’m so scared and so angry and I don’t know what to do. None of this is fair.” — onlysaysisthisathing
8. Missing Alcohol
“I’m an alcoholic and I’ve been sober for 2098 days. Everyone always asks ‘do you miss it’ I say no every time but I’m only lying to myself. I’ve missed it for every single one of those 2098 days. It’s not getting easier, the struggle is real.” the_rebel_within
9. Feeling Lonely
“I have never felt like a priority to anyone. It would offend my family and friends I’m sure, but I have seen the way they prioritize other people and I yearn for that so badly in just one person.”— blackjill23
10. No Goals
“I have no goals. We are supposed to figure out who we want to be and what we want from our lives. It’s almost an expectation that we have to want something out of life. But I have never wanted to be anything and I have never wanted to do anything. I have no passions. I don’t think I’m depressed though. I’ve always been this way. I do have a job which is ok, and a family I love. But I’m pretty much just going to keep existing until I don’t.” — InfringeOrange
11. Hating Yourself
“I’m beginning to hate all of the things that used to define me. I’m just getting colder and colder and I don’t feel bad for it, I’m just nostalgic for my old self.” — GUCCI_anu
12. Not Forgiving Mom
“I can’t forgive my mom for allowing my stepfather to molest me as a small child (4-9yo)It went on for years, she ignored it, she doesn’t take any responsibility for the struggles I’ve had to go through because of it. She thinks I’m a failure even though I’m doing really well for myself, all things considered. (Recovering addict) Thanks to hard work, the right partner and lots of education, I have a healthy marriage and sex life but it was so hard. Harder than it had any right to be. I don’t think I’ll ever be able forgive her. I really wonder what my life would have been like…” — southmtndew84
13. Fake
“I am fake 90% of the time, especially around friends and at work. I pretend to be happy, funny, silly, and like I’m ok. I am deeply not ok and crave being alone because it’s the only time I can take the mask off. I am who I wish I actually was around other people. But it’s not real.” — chut2906
14. Extreme Overthinking
“I’m an extreme overthinker. Like my girlfriend wont open a message of mine for a few hours and ill be fully in my head thinking of all the bad things that could be happening. Or ill show up late to work and ill be terrified that im going to be fired for the whole day. I never act on those thoughts because i always have that little bit of sanity telling me that im overthinking, but its still there and it f*cken sucks.” — banforshitpostifgay
15. An Afterthought
“I know deep down that if I stop chasing and putting effort in the relationships I have in my life they’ll quickly fall apart because people never really see me as someone worth being close to. I’m just an afterthought. So I always put 95% of the effort into them just so that I don’t end up alone. Oh, also, I’ve never been in a healthy romantic relationship and have been single 3+ years. So theres that too.” — Skinned-Magikarp
16. Self-Harm Free
“I’m currently 5 days self harm free.” — Successful-Stop398
17. Low Self-Esteem
“I hate everything about myself physically. I either don’t look directly at my reflection or make sure the lighting is very low when I’m combing my hair in the mirror or something because I hate how I look.” — DrewPDong·17 hr. ago
Featured Image: Pexels
