On Wednesday evening, writer Nicole Cliffe shared a lie she told for personal gain on Twitter. She then proceeded to reveal her second biggest lie.
Encouraged, the denizens of Twitter began to share their own over-the-top lies for personal gain. The results were…entertaining, to say the least:
1.
One of my law school professors was a notorious drunk and he called on me one day when I was totally unprepared and he was visibly drunk. I dead stared at him for a minute and then nodded and said “and that’s it” and he thought I had answered, said “yes, excellent” and carried on
— Athena Lives (@anastywoman) January 9, 2019
2.
https://twitter.com/MelodyRules_/status/1082814470290731008
3.
The principle of my high school gave me a key to a "supply closet" to deliver to my homeroom teacher. He seemed hesitant, considering it was only a closet of junk. I rushed to the hardware store & made a copy. My suspicions were right: I had my own master key to the school.
— Keith Spyder Kerr (@kdvncm) January 9, 2019
4.
https://twitter.com/themarygraham/status/1082802764168744961
5.
I stole money out of my siblings' piggy banks for years because I was mad that they were older than me. Each time my mom noticed the piggy banks were low, she assumed she had forgotten allowance that week and redistributed it. Unrelated, I bought 4 American Girl dolls as a child
— Casey Splinter (@CaseySplinter) January 8, 2019
6.
Was a runaway street kid (didn’t look it) in NYC circa 2001. Stood street level outside a basement club. Group of 5 came up to me thinking I’m the door guy and asking if there’s a cover. Told ‘em “$10”. Got $50 on the spot & booked it before the real door guy caught on.
— Premature Immaculation (@AnonymousFlex) January 9, 2019
7.
I told my mom George Michael was a religious singer so she would take me to his concert. In my defense, he sing Faith. Gig was up when he did a laser light show of I Want Your Sex.
— wikwikwak (@jherques) January 8, 2019
8.
When I first socially transitioned I ran into a neighbor as Katelyn I had already met in boymode in the stairwell. He asked me what happened to my “boyfriend” and I told him that “we became different people and it didn’t work out” instead of telling him about my transition.
— Katelyn Burns (@transscribe) January 9, 2019
9.
Sometimes I make a reservation for two at a nice restaurant and then pretend to get stoodup. It’s usually good enough for a free wine or app
— Alessa Meno (@alessa_pm) January 9, 2019
10.
I stole money out of my siblings' piggy banks for years because I was mad that they were older than me. Each time my mom noticed the piggy banks were low, she assumed she had forgotten allowance that week and redistributed it. Unrelated, I bought 4 American Girl dolls as a child
— Casey Splinter (@CaseySplinter) January 8, 2019