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“A Girl Named Cash Money”—People Are Sharing The, Uh, Interesting Names They’ve Heard Parents Choose For Their Kids

The naming process is taken very seriously by some, very lackadaisically by others, but the worst names might be from the people who take it super seriously and still mess up. Redditor u/CleanReserve4 asked r/AskReddit, “What horrible, ridiculous names have you heard parents choose to call their children?” and there were so many it’s surprising that the government hasn’t stepped in. While it’s not cool to make fun of someone’s name, parents should know that their kid is definitely going to be made fun of every day of their life if they’re named after a Transformer.

On the other hand, if a Lihburtee or an Anakin can survive middle school, they can survive anything. Scroll through for all the character-building names people remember, and choose one for your firstborn.


An ex had friends who named their kids Haight and Rayge (hate and rage). Good luck kids. —Idonediditdonedidit


Had a little boy in my program named Rowdy. Eh… kind of rednecky but, whatever. Then I found out his older brother is named Howdy! WTF? Found out later that the older boys legal name is Howard. That’s less ridiculous, at least. —mrsrariden


My neighbor was the 12th kid. His parents named him Twelver. That’s gotta be the worst I’ve ever seen. —MelyssaRave


Novemba —rockerswise


I work at a college and often go through the new applications to process them, I’ve seen all kinds. Most ridiculous name I’ve seen thus far though:

Starscream Anakin as his first and middle names. He has a normal last name. When I first saw it, I was certain that it was a kid fucking with our application system. Then I met him in person, and he showed me his ID.

His name is legally Starscream Anakin. I get the Anakin part, but of all the Transformers to name your kid after, why on Earth make it Starscream? He was just awful. —Boxboy7


I once encountered a plump young woman whose name, according to her ID, was Rotunda. —TheSanityInspector


queeth —fijiloo


I went to high school with a guy named John John John. Yes, his first name, middle name and last name were all “John”.

Update: Thanks for the silver! This was not in Texas, BC or Ohio, so there are at least several parents who inflicted the same name on their kids. He was a nice enough guy and owned it. He did sometimes sign his name John3. —MmeGrey


Some friends of mine in high school knew a girl named Cash Money. Met her once and she said her name with some made up accent. One recently I ran into was Kaideynse. —Nikkus430


My mother knew someone who named their kid Har$. Yes, that’s pronounced Harmony. —SebasH2O