Now that we aren’t allowed to go to movie theaters, people are waxing nostalgic about it—even the annoying things about the movie theater experience, like people talking, eating loudly, and staring at their bright phones.
Writer Mike Ginn recently tweeted: “The thing I miss most about movie theaters is overhearing someone say the dumbest f—king thing I’ve ever heard before the previews start,” which led to dozens of replies from people sharing the dumbest things they’ve overheard at the movies.
the thing I miss most about movie theaters is overhearing someone say the dumbest fucking thing i’ve ever heard before the previews start
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) August 30, 2020
I think at this point I’d welcome the sound of dumb people saying dumb things if it meant I could go see Christopher Nolan’s Tenet in IMAX.
Anyway, here are 39 of the dumbest things people have heard at the movies:
I saw Midsommar last summer in the theater. Right before the movie started, some girl said to her friend “I hope this isn’t gonna be one of those gory, weird movies like Hereditary”
— Dan (@Rated_Cesaro) August 30, 2020
I went to see 127 hours at the cinema. Part way through a lady in the row behind me said “I hope he’s not going to be stuck behind that rock for the whole film”.
— CJ (@oboe_cop) August 30, 2020
My wife and I went to see Fast and Furious 27 or whatever, with no context, and about halfway through the movie, The Rock and Vin Diesel had a scene together and she audibly said “Those are two different people?”
— cokedrank (@cokedrank) August 30, 2020
i went to see a screening of the muppets for their anniversary or whatever and this little girl like 4 rows back yelled “when i marry miss piggy, and she dies, i will eat her” while kermit was singing
— WONHO’S BACK (@triplexdawn) August 30, 2020
Once during one of the Paranormal Activity movies, while some paranormal activity was going down someone in the first row yelled “you see that?!?!” and someone in the back row answered “yeah I see it!!”
— Ultimate Worrier (@karenferrastein) August 30, 2020
I miss people who have to have a friend narrate the movie for them, like they’re blind or something.
(70 minutes into “John Wick”)
“Who’s this guy?”
“That’s Keanu Reeves. He plays John Wick.”
“Oh. Why’s he killing all those guys?”
“They stole his car and killed his dog.”
— Ellen Lee (@AGirlJustKnows) August 30, 2020
I just did this entire thing with my daughter watching Charlotte’s web for the first time.
Genuinely enjoyed the movie, but turned up to me at the end to ask me why the spider was drawing words close to the end.
— Bittersweet Simphony (@Boredom102) August 30, 2020
At the start of Aquaman the WB logo with water over it. The guy next to me turns to his date and says “ooooooh, because its Aquaman”
That movie was not very good but sitting next to a dude with childlike wonder for everything that was happening I had a great time watching it
— PharaohWizard (@ThPharaohWizard) August 30, 2020
How about just all throughout the movie? Like the time I went to go see INFINITY WAR and the woman sitting next to me asked her significant other, “Who’s that?” when CAPTAIN AMERICA first showed up onscreen
— David Cho (@dc224) August 30, 2020
I remember waiting for The Fellowship of the Ring to start rolling and when the name came up someone yelled “THIS ISN’T SHREK”
— HELLHAMMER (@Tom_Blag) August 30, 2020