How often do you find yourself cussing out a movie character in the first ten minutes of a film for making a clearly illogical and infuriating choice that ultimately leads to chaos and the demise of most of the other characters? Like, c’mon, all Luke Perry had to do was NOT shoot at the giant peaceful metal aliens and the Earth would have been safe from the ultimate-evil comet hurling towards it in the Fifth Element (and we wouldn’t have to see so many ghastly attempts at Leeloo’s white strappy number every Halloween).
Still, without the idiocy of a dumbass character, we wouldn’t really have the frustrating pleasure of the horror movie genre or any 90’s action films for that matter.
Redditor u/RedstonekPL asked “What movie could have been over in 10 minutes if the main character wasn’t such a fool?”
The results might make you want to rage re-watch them all in frustration.
Spoiler alert! This list WILL ruin all of these movies (even if you’ve already seen them).
1. Jurassic Park
If Hammond actually spared no expense. -wolfmann
Hammond: ” Spared no expense”
*15 minutes later*
“I told you how many times we needed locking mechanisms on vehicle doors!”
How the f–k do you have a t rex but not locks on the car doors?! -24520ls
2. No Country For Old Men
Never go back to the scene of the crime. –Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
They were all too busy banging each other and didn’t realize what was going on. –mr_sto0pid
4. Meet The Parents
Ben Stiller be like, “Could everyone settle down and give me a chance to explain?” –whoreoleo
If Jafar would have just paid Aladdin what he promised him instead of betraying him at the cave, he would have had the lamp and become king be mighty powerful. Aladdin just wanted his money in return for the lamp. –kiwiwatermelonnn
“Stop staring at me you vitamin D deficient creep” DONE –Natresse
7. Star Wars: Episode 1
Not exactly 10 minutes, but, Padme could have bought Anakin’s mom and he would have probably never turned to the Dark Side.
Republic credits may not be worth much on Tatooine, but I’m sure one of her jewel encrusted headdresses is. –Sigmar_Heldenhammer
Qui Gon: “Hi, I’m looking for T15 hyperdrive, do you have one?”
Watto: “We got one. No one else has one, I can tell you that.”
Qui Gon: “This guy is obviously ripping us off, let’s just get the part from someone else.”
They never find Anakin, never free him and everyone in the Universe sleeps well for the next 200 years. –AstonVanilla
Just don’t reopen the beach for the holiday weekend. –ImInArea52
(Nooo, don’t do this to Cars!!)
If Lighting McQueen listened to his crew and changed his tires as ordered he could have won the race. –IamZerBase
But, as explained by nobodyuknow01,
Look, Cars to me falls under Bellisario’s principle–some movies don’t have to make sense to be enjoyable.
10. The Wizard of Oz
I mean, Dorothy should have asked a few more questions about the ruby slippers. –JamesRenner