If you’ve watched enough movies, you start to become familiar with the tropes associated with certain types of people. You know, the movie character stereotypes like the harried soccer mom, or the fat best friend, or the loose cannon cop who’s the best at what he or she does but refuses to play by the rules. They can be tiresome, but when called out and identified, they’re actually pretty funny.
Rory Turnbull, an assistant linguistics professor in Hawaii (according to his Twitter bio) tweeted a movie trope about his profession that nailed the stereotype so hard the tweet went totally viral.
“Hello, I’m a professor in a movie,” he wrote. “I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading/homework as they leave.”
Hello, I’m a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.
— Rory Turnbull (@_roryturnbull) January 1, 2019
Yup, that pretty much sums up like 90 percent of professor scenes in any movie ever. They always get to their point just as the bell rings, and then shout some stuff about homework or a test or something as the students gather up their belongings and begin to file out. You can see the scene in your head as you read the tweet. It’s perfect.
As Turnbull’s tweet went viral, a meme began with lots of people tweeting out the particulars of other tired, old movie tropes.
1. Like the freelance writer in a movie who lives in a spacious NYC apartment.
Hello, I’m a writer in a movie. I write one piece a week and live in a two bedroom New York apartment with a walk-in wardrobe. Also I never actually pitch anywhere, the jobs just come to me. https://t.co/YyuPjYgEyP
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) January 3, 2019
2. Or the nerdy coder who types super fast and never makes mistakes.
Hello, I’m an programmer in a movie. I’m white, male, and conspicuously nerdy, and everything I code works on the first try. I’m the Best Coder because I’m a fast typist, and I type extra fast in programming emergencies. I never Google error messages. There are no error messages. https://t.co/uQiKv18zkc
— Ana Mardoll (@AnaMardoll) January 3, 2019
3. The rabbi in the movie who says things a real rabbi would never say.
Hello, I’m a rabbi in a movie. I wear my tefillin wrong and don’t really know how to pronounce the Hebrew of liturgical phrases that get said 3 times a day, every day. I say things from the pulpit that would be grounds for firing most places and maybe one congregant responds. https://t.co/KMVf5lkm2N
— Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (@TheRaDR) January 3, 2019
4. The doctor who pressures an underling into a romantic relationship.
Hello, I’m a doctor in a movie. I use defib on a flatlined patient instead of adrenaline, despite knowing that a flatline is the goal of defibrillation. I also do CPR compressions wrong. I use my position of authority to pressure an underling into a romantic relationship. https://t.co/5dPwFiZifJ
— Be More Kind (@ChrisMartinPr) January 3, 2019
5. The constantly drunk journalist who still turns in great work.
Hello, I’m a journalist in a movie. I drink whole bottles of vodka while reporting in the field but somehow churn out prose my editor deems worthy of a Pulitzer. https://t.co/UfDntj2wh1
— Oriana Schwindt (@Schwindter) January 3, 2019
You May Also Like
This.👇👇👇https://t.co/P0kugaqEHE
— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 3, 2019
6. The data journalist who…wait, who?
Hello, I’m a data journalist in a movie. I am not shown. https://t.co/MWqXXGSAx4
— Steven Rich (@dataeditor) January 3, 2019
7. The lawyer who beats all the odds.
Hello, I’m a lawyer in a movie. Every case is a lengthy jury trial where I’m totally outmatched & losing the entire time. Then, at the final possible moment I have a stroke of genius that no one ever thought of & win the case hands down. https://t.co/JjvS7Aa42O
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) January 3, 2019
8. The shady graduate student.
Hello, I’m a graduate student in a movie. I obviously sleep with my dissertation adviser and then murder someone, probably that adviser. https://t.co/awkCRTbz7X
— Wes Burdine (@MnNiceFC) January 3, 2019
9. The “slutty” bisexual woman who never stops talking about being bi.
Hello, I’m a bisexual woman in a movie. I’m evil, sexy, slutty, and hit on everything that moves. I prey on vulnerable young women, seduce upstanding guys with my wiles, and cheat on all my partners. You’ll know I’m bi bc I’ll mention or show it roughly every 2 second. https://t.co/7gN6efxPgm
— Faerunner (@ElfFromDenerim) January 3, 2019
10. The novelist whose editor reads the book immediately and breathlessly.
Hello, I’m a writer in a movie. I bring a print-out of my long-ass novel to my editor’s office & wait while my editor reads the whole thing right in front of me, loves it, & offers me an advance, which I accept. Apparently, my editor pushed my agent out a window right before this
— Jeff VanderMeer (@jeffvandermeer) January 3, 2019
11. The high school teacher who doesn’t seem to worry about dress code violations.
Hello I’m a high school teacher in a movie. I never hand out tardy slips to students out in the hall when the late bell rings or worry about dress code violations. I never, ever say, “The bell does not dismiss you. *I* dismiss you.” https://t.co/8Ik3BIr9dA
— sally kilpatrick (@SuperWriterMom) January 3, 2019
12. The deaf person with lip-reading superpowers.
Hello, I’m a deaf person in a movie. I can totally read lips from across the street, through a windshield and in the dark. When I sign, someone repeats what I say out loud and nobody else signs because I can read lips super good, duh. Also I’m the only deaf person ever. https://t.co/S8qwYf8yUN
— Wille (@txtnso) January 3, 2019
13. The Rain Man-clone autistic guy.
Hello, I’m an autistic person in a movie. I’m really good at counting cards and literally nothing else. I’m a guy, the actor who plays me totally met an autistic person once, and I don’t have feelings. https://t.co/Jjmo1T1ueV
— Sara Luterman (@slooterman) January 3, 2019
14. The literary agent with the statement necklace.
Hello, I’m a literary agent in a movie. No one seems to understand that my job is different from being a book editor. I seem to have a client list consisting of one author, whom I visit a lot and also take to lunch/dinner on a weekly basis. I wear a ton of statement jewelry.
— Ginger Clark (@Ginger_Clark) January 3, 2019
15. The black woman who is only there to support the white woman.
Hello. I’m a Black Woman in a movie. I don’t have a life outside of being the white main character’s support system. I’m always ready with an ‘urban’ quote of wisdom and my pain can’t interfere with the plot. https://t.co/3e8qOeT7P7
— The Block Panther (@DeleMage) January 3, 2019
You May Also Like
This.👇👇👇https://t.co/cTMdUJYDbS
— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 3, 2019
16. The hacker who can get into any system within seconds.
Hello I’m a hacker in a movie and I can crash through firewalls and IPSes in seconds without performing any recon whatsoever. https://t.co/icLHC57UVd
— 💕Excelsior 💕 (@ScyneWaive) January 3, 2019
17. The “knitter” who is actually doing crochet.
Hello, I’m a knitter in a movie. I just twirl the needles around without making any stitches and also my knitting is crochet. https://t.co/YQlLU1epoc
— Kay Gardiner🗽 (@KayGardiner) January 3, 2019
18. The female newspaper journalist who sleeps with her sources.
Hello, I’m a female newspaper journalist in a movie and oops I keep sleeping with my sources! https://t.co/yG59rs1aT8
— Jen Zoratti (@JenZoratti) January 3, 2019
19. The one-dimensional Muslim.
Hello, I’m a Muslim in a movie. I’m one dimensional & speak w/an Arab accent, even though I’m not Arab. Everyone suspects me of terrorism & treats me like trash but in the end I’m innocent & people learn a valuable lesson on inclusion. https://t.co/JjvS7Aa42O
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) January 3, 2019
20. The scientist in the white lab coat.
Hello, I’m a Scientist. I appear in movies as a white lab coat NPC who wanders around a lab like a Penguin staring at gauges that never move beyond zero, and jot meaningless numbers on a page while the protagonist “wonders” if they’ll ever figure out how to solve the plot problem
— sheerahkahn (@sheerahkahn) January 3, 2019
21. The vulnerable woman in a dangerous situation who doesn’t ever lock the damn door. Come on, lady!
Hello, I’m a single woman living alone in a densely-populated urban center in a movie. When someone is chasing me, I run inside my apartment, slam the door, and place my back against the door…but I never LOCK the door. https://t.co/blEqlvFPQ2
— Akilah Green (@akilahgreen) January 3, 2019
22. The fat girl who has to be the butt of all the jokes.
Hello, I’m a fat girl in a movie. I exist to be the butt of everyone’s jokes. I’m either relentlessly sunny or totally unlikeable. I’m allowed to be funny, but no one can ever be attracted to me unless they are pathetic or scorned for it. I dress badly & can’t groom myself. https://t.co/Xv0JjKxzVf
— Mari Brighe (@MariBrighe) January 3, 2019
23. The person who orders a “beer” at a bar.
Hello, I’m a bar patron in a movie, I can walk into any bar for the first time and say “Two beers please” and the bartender will hand me two beers with no discussion of type, brand, or receptacle, https://t.co/Op33EDnvaO
— T.J. Chambers (@tjchambersLA) January 3, 2019
24. And the fruit cart that is constantly being destroyed.
hello I’m a fruit cart vendor in a movie. I hope no one fucks up my fruit today!!
— You, 23andMe, and Dupree (@killakow) January 3, 2019
Those poor fruit carts never fare well in any car chase scene.