People Are Sharing All The Disturbing Details You Missed In ’Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer’ As A Kid

1964’s Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer is a Christmas classic that I’m sure every child over the last 50+ years has seen at least a few times. Even if you haven’t seen the film, you’ve at least heard the song. The thing is, through the lens of your adult lifeRudolph is a pretty messed-up movie. It’s colorful stop motion characters and whimsy can’t hide the darkness within. Twitter was quick to find everything wrong with Rudolph.

1. The Message Of The Entire Movie Is Kinda Dark

2. That’s Not How You Congratulate New Parents, Santa

3. Rudolph And The Reindeer Live In A Capitalist Hellscape

4. Seriously, What Was Wrong With The Doll?

5. There’s Yukon The Bearded Hipster

6. Yukon Is A Big Dumby

7. Don’t Get Me Started With Coach Comet

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This reindeer is every terrible coach you’ve ever had rolled into deer form. Rudolph out-performs every other kid with his airborne twirls and all Coach can see is his red nose. Despicable.

8. Donner Tried Living Vicariously Through His Son

9. Fireball Had No Room To Talk

10. But Maybe None Of The Reindeer, Rudolph Included, Were Sleigh Team Material

11. Then There’s The Biggest A-Hole Of All: Santa

Santa is merciless capitalist who only cares about strict uniformity in his frozen regime. He makes veiled threats to Donner and his wife when he finds out Rudolph has a nose defect. “I’m sure you’ll make this right.” He also shames Rudolph after Rudolph proves he can fly well, but loses his fake nose in the process. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Donner. It was a good performance too.” Santa can kick rocks.

12. Santa Can Shove It

13. Santa Takes Huge Advantage Of Rudolph

14. The Movie Should Have Ended This Way

15. Did We Mention That Santa Sucks?

16. Also They Killed A Bird

h/t: Huffington Post

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