Kate Hackett
If you’ve never read the Bible all the way through, let me let you in on a little secret: There’s a lot of stuff that isn’t in there even though people SWEAR it is.
Go figure, since so many people like to point at the thing and scream about how they’re right — and when it’s not even in there?
Well, peruse this thread from u/LoneShark81 and feel well-armed in the arguments you’ll inevitably get into over Biblical reality.
“What do people pretend is in the bible but is absolutely not in the bible?”
Behold, thine answers:
1. Do as I What?
My brother has a friend that will argue with you that Jesus said in the Bible “Do as I say, not as I do”.
2. God helps
‘God Helps Those Who Helps Themselves’, it’s not in the Bible.
3. Pretty much everything about Satan
That Satan is in any way in charge of torture in hell.
Jim Jefferies had a joke, that if you’re a bad guy and go to hell, Satan would have no point in torturing you, because you were doing things that please him. He would rather high-five you or something.
Satan is not there to torture the people, hell IS the torture. Satan will be right there in hell also being tortured.
4. Suicide
“The only unforgivable sin is suicide”… Or “people who commit suicide go to hell” that’s not true… The only unforgivable sin is blaspheme… And I think it’s sad if someone has a family member who committed suicide then believes this bc the poor person must have had a hard life to ever do this. Then their child or someone thinks they went to hell
5. This too
“This, too, shall pass” isn’t in the Bible at all.
6. Did you know…
God helps those who help themselves, that actually comes from the Greek myths, Aesop’s fable “Hercules and the Waggoner.” where a guy was having trouble with a muddy road and was praying Hercules for help, Hercules appeared and told him how to help himself, the moral being thee gods help those who help themselves.
7. Mary Magdalene
That Mary Magdalene was a prostitue. A pope conflated her with Mary of Bethany and an unnamed “sinful woman,” because he didn’t like the fact that a woman was important to Jesus and wanted to discredit her.
8. Borrowing and lending
“Neither a borrower nor a lender be”
I have had a minister ‘quote’ that to me as a Bible quote.
It’s from Hamlet.
9. Apples
That Eve eats an “apple”.
10. Money
That money is the root of all evil. The correct quote is actually the *love* of money.
11. It’s Tolkien
“Not all who wander are lost.” -Tolkien 29:17
12. Three wise men
Since it’s close to Christmas time: there weren’t three wise men, just three gifts. No one knows how many wise men went.
13. Levels of hell
The levels of hell. Dante wrote about his journey through hell. The levels are not biblical.
14. “Suffer”
That Jesus said anything about children suffering. “Suffer the children to come unto me” means to allow them.
15. Money stuff
The whole “Prosperity Theology” thing where wealth is encouraged, especially at the expense of tithing congregants. There’s very little in the way of biblical support for this idea, and in fact several places in the bible say quite the opposite. “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”
That quote is repeated a few times in the gospels, more or less, and similar sentiments are made elsewhere also.
16. Sports
That god wants your sports team to win.
17. Angels
That people become Angels when they die. Nope.
18. Satan & Hell
Most stuff about Satan and Hell. He doesn’t actually show up that much in the Bible and most stuff about him is taken from other previous cultures like Hades. Most of what people think of Hell is from Dante’s Inferno.
19. Angels are scary
That angels are humans with wings. They’re not. As far as I remember there are some depictions of them in the Revelation but not in much detail (I’m pretty sure that the four animals next to the throne aren’t angels, but I may be wrong on that).
20. God won’t give you more…
“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
The quote is about temptation. God will not allow you to be tempted more than you have the ability to resist. Nothing about the severity of Trials and Tribulations. 1 Corinthians 10:13
21.
All those people that think they’re better than the rest because they openly demonstrate they’re SO religious? The Bible literally says to pray and worship In secret.
