There’s a zero percent chance that any of these things happened this week, but here these people are swearing on their lives that they did.
Thanks for the entertainment, folks. You’re huge dorks for making up weird stories thinking people will actually believe them.
…but please don’t stop.
1. Seems easier to just give you a blank CD.
2. Please be satire.
3. This person is such a dork.
4. Hope this person never needs literally any medicine.
5. Then move, you big Bible nerd.
6. Then the Bible clapped.
7. Maybe do something about all of this?
8. Is your professor 16?
9. Hilarious to drug people.
10. Totally something Bernie would say.
11. Nothing hotter than having sex with someone you’ve known their entire life.
12. Now I work there 40 hours a week. As a prank.
13. They didn’t try the Price Is Right or something first?
14. Please see a therapist.
15. Kids these days!!
Bonus Addition, from our frequent contributor, Dan Wilbur:
He claims it really happened, and some of Reddit agrees with him. But others don’t. But he’s also a comedian and thus starved for attention, so…what do you think?