Hannah Riley
The Satanic Panic is back once again after taking a brief hiatus for a few years. Fundamental Christians have over and over tried to label things from pop culture as ‘Satanic’ or something the devil is using to recruit children. If this is really how Satan is recruiting, it doesn’t seem very successful? Maybe he should implement an MLM system with an ‘invite 5 friends and they invite 5 friends’ policy.
It’s hard to say what Christians expected when they banished gay people to hell, but Lil Nas X is now in the hot seat after he released a music video featuring him giving the devil a lap dance, following a long line of other things cancelled by conservatives. As someone raised in house that loved to boycott things with ‘Satanic messages,’ I will verify that all of these lived rent free in religious leaders and parents heads for years.
1. Pokemon
In 2001, an article written by Christian outlet Worthy News claimed tat Pokemon ‘opened children up to the demonic realm,’ and claims the game is a dangerous game manipulated by Lucifer himself! Some parents thought that Pokemon was short for ‘Pocket Demons’ and banned it from their houses.
2. Harry Potter
Harry Potter was an easy choice for Conservatives to boycott because it has “Witchcraft and Wizardry” in every piece of promotional material that came out before the book’s initial release. There were many other things in the Harry Potter series that conservatives disagreed with even after JK Rowling said in an interview that the books had several Christian themes. As a kid who was banned from reading these, I an verify they are still really good when read under the covers!
3. Dungeons and Dragons
In the 1980’s Dungeons and Dragons became the new thing for religious people to boycott and speak out against. It was condemned for promoting witchcraft and demonology. A Christian economist, Dr. Gary North described it as ‘a recruiting tool for Satan,’ and everyone knows how annoying recruiters are.
4. Madonna
Madonna’s song, ‘Like a Prayer’ was praised by critics, but religious folks were less than enthusiastic about the song. The music video showed burning crosses and a music video of her making out with a saint, which many mistook for Jesus.
In 2015, Madonna dressed like a nun and danced on a pole. Her dancers act out the last supper and Madonna takes the central role as Jesus. Catholics hated this performance and some even said she should be beaten.
5. Monster Energy Drinks
In a hilarious video titled ‘Monster Energy Drinks are the work of Satan,’ a woman standing at a booth at what looks like the world’s worst career fair tells viewers that Monster Energy drinks were created with an anti-christ agenda. She claims that the ‘M’ logo on the can could represent the Hebrew numeral for six and therefore three of them would say ‘six six six.’
The best quote from the video is definitely, “Bottom’s up. And the devil laughs. This is how clever Satan is and how he gets into the Christian home and a Christian’s life.”
6. Teletubbies
In 1999, Jerry Falwell Sr., founder of the Moral Majority, famously led an effort to boycott “The Teletubbies,” a children’s television program, because he got an inkling that its Tinky-Winky character was covertly gay and therefore children shouldn’t be allowed to watch it. Alright.
7. Neopets
Conservatives also tried to boycott and ban Neopets because they were not created by God, modeled after beasts, and ‘children worship them more than God.’ Since the Neopets could not die, they could not go to heaven. I guess if you can’t face eternal damnation in Hell then we can’t hang out with you.
8. Scooby Doo
The religious website Landoverbaptist.org shared their opinions why Scooby Doo should be banned from households.
“It goes without saying that most Christians already know that the term, “Scooby Doo,” was adopted by the homosexual community in the late 1970’s. “Scooby Doo” is Sodomite slang for “feces roll.” There is no easy way of saying this, but a “feces roll” is when a group of naked homosexual “men” get together in a public park, lay out a large plastic mat, poop all over it, and roll around in it until they have orgasms or are busted by the police. Some homosexuals save their feces in plastic bags and keep them in the refrigerator for weeks to prepare for such an event.”
While this isn’t the universal reason Scooby Doo was banned from Christian households, it’s definitely one of the funniest reasons. Another pastor, Baptist Pastor Deacon Fred, said ‘If a dog is speaking, it’s likely possessed and Leviticus 20:27 says we should kill it.”
9. Several Holidays
Let me get something clear: if you are celebrating a Christmas or Easter, Santa and the Easter bunny are absolutely not allowed to be present. Easter Sunday was only for church and a fancy Easter dinner. It was believed that secular people were trying to ‘take over these holidays’ with secular imagery and erase Jesus from the holiday. Don’t even get me started on Halloween being the worst day of the year for all the left-out Christian kids.
10. Yoga
The original practice of yoga was intertwined with Hinduism and is therefore considered by some to be anti-Christian. The practice is now just an ancient system of different postures combined with breathing exercises.
11. Any scary movies
Clearly, anything with a scary image in it was created by someone who is a huge fan of the devil, right? It is believed that watching these movies gives Satan a foothold in their lives because they glorify the devil. Some religious people even say that Satan himself inspired the producers and directors. Maybe we should add him to the credits and cut him a check for his work.
12. Any Metal music
Okay so a lot of metal music definitely has some actual Satanic imagery, so this one feels pretty fair. Religious people have were against bands like Megadeth, Guns N’ Roses, Metallica, and Slayer as they featured loud guitars and screaming vocals. They were a threat to the current time of social and political conservatism and many parents felt that the music was being used to recruit children for the devil.
13. The Rolling Stones
The Rolling Stones came out with ‘Sympathy for the devil’ and that was the death of them for conservatives. How dare you have sympathy for the devil? They definitely didn’t listen to the song at all.
14. Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga has done a few things to anger the church, including the song ‘Judas,’ speaking out against Karen and Mike Pence, and in her music video for ‘Alejandro’ she deep throats a rosary. Their disdain makes sense, but some of their criticism is paired with old school scare-tactics like playing her song ‘Poker Face’ backward to make it say something else, which it totally bullshit and has been debunked over and over.
15. French Fries
The great French Fry debacle came in 2003, after France opposed the United States invasion of Iraq. Some restaurants and congressional cafeterias renamed French Fries to “Freedom Fries.” This was reversed in 2006, when everyone came back to their senses.
