Aimeé
On August 31, in the year 2020, a man named Ander Christensen stood before the Lincoln, Nebraska, City Council to talk about one of the most pressing issues facing our nation: boneless chicken wings. It might feel like there are far more serious issues to concentrate on in this day and age, but after hearing Christensen’s appeal, you’ll understand why we must deal with this appetizer right now.
“I go into nice family restaurants and see people throwing this name around and pretending as though everything is just fine,” he says in the viral clip of the testimony. “I’m talking about boneless chicken wings.”
Christensen does not believe that these monstrosities count as “wings” at all. They’re a con, trying to suck people into buying something that simply does not exist. He is tired of seeing his fellow citizens manipulated and bamboozled.
“I propose that we as a city remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts,” he says. “These are our reasons why: Number one, nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken. We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling their cuts of meats, but then we go around pretending as though the breast of a chicken is its wing?”
WHY ISN’T THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THIS 👇 pic.twitter.com/nVnwZFGWM3
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) September 2, 2020
He adds, “Number two: Boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless. I don’t go to order boneless tacos. I don’t go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don’t ask for boneless auto repair. It’s just what’s expected.”
What would Christensen like them to be called instead? He concludes by saying, “I propose that we rename boneless wings in the city of Lincoln. We can call them Buffalo-style chicken tenders. We can call them wet tenders. We can call them saucy nugs, or trash. We can take these steps and show the country where we stand and that we understand we’ve been living a lie for far too long, and we know it in our bones.”
Strong words that have attracted a number of converts:
Lincoln, Nebraska:
Finally, someone with guts.
Speaking truth to power…pic.twitter.com/YOZrqnWAKo
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) September 2, 2020
Atticus Finch, Gerry Spence, Johnnie Cochran, Cicero, and this guy. https://t.co/W2k2Bwxpkz
— Ryan McGee (@ESPNMcGee) September 2, 2020
Boneless wings are just gentrified nuggets and the man said what needed to be said. https://t.co/x63a1JOCGr
— Phonte (@phontigallo) September 2, 2020
The man from Nebraska is right. The math aint mathin.
— A balding headed scallywag. (@MyVibesIsMetro) September 2, 2020
I am not Christensen’s target audience, because I’m not a fan of wings. Involves eating too many veins, in my opinion. But I hear what he is saying and respect his POV. On the other hand, let’s take the attention being directed at Christensen for his stunt and direct it to the accusations that the Lincoln City Council has been accused of censoring Black Lives Matter activists. Then it might do more good than an edit to the local menus of Nebraska.
