I'm being proactive rn with this whole north korea thing, that's right, I'm on the toilet with a cowboy hat so I can leave a funny skeleton
— Christian (@nopoweradeinusa) August 9, 2017
Facebook: Essential oils.
Snapchat: I'm a bunny!
Instagram: I ate a hamburger.
Twitter: THIS COUNTRY IS BURNING TO THE GROUND.
— Jeanne Hulme (@jeannes_jargon) July 28, 2017
gonorrhea would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine.
— pony (@tigersgoroooar) November 13, 2017
Jesus: *raising chalice* let us sup
Judas: what's sup?
Jesus: Not much what's up with you lmao
Judas: this is the last straw
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) March 7, 2016
i was so high that i thought gpa meant grade point average and then i realized she meant her grandpa who is dead pic.twitter.com/Uyw1P9KK3Z
— james (@anuscosgrove) February 21, 2016
Mental what a couple a fairy lights can do, ye could put them on a deed body n id be like omg that's fucking lovely get that on ma Instagram
— Paul Black (@paulbIack) September 14, 2016
My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains
— josh 'Dracula' (fiendlord99) (@oldfriend99) November 18, 2017
Autocorrect saved my job again pic.twitter.com/NHEfpCF2RL
— steve suckington (@SteveSuckington) June 27, 2016
Can't lose the 2020 election if there is no 2020. pic.twitter.com/PhMdPu3x1h
— Bilge Ebiri (@BilgeEbiri) August 8, 2017