30 Mom Tweets That Are Equal Parts Amazing, Exhausting, and Hilarious
ByEmily
Motherhood is no walk in the park, as any mom will surely agree. Sure, it’s also one of the most amazing life experiences a person can have, but that doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting at times.
The best moms survive on patience, love, and a hell of a good sense of humor. Just take it from each of these downright hilarious mom tweets that perfectly sum up the beautiful chaos of motherhood.
1.
Hearing a toddler say “uh oh” from a different room: cheaper than joining a gym and just as effective a workout
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 1, 2019
2.
My deepest fear:
5.
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1. My kids open the lid of our trashcan and discover what I’ve been doing with all of their art projects.— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) February 5, 2019
3.
My 5-year-old just told me that turtles are slow because they carry their houses on their backs, and I feel like this is a solid analogy for parenthood.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) February 27, 2019
4.
A friend wanted to know what it’s like to be a mom, so I busted down her bathroom door while she was taking a shower so I could tell her that I’m thinking about changing the name of one of my stuffed animals.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 21, 2019
5.
I don't like to point fingers, but sometimes I really want to point my middle finger at the 1yo.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) February 21, 2019
6.
I woke up with this horrible, debilitating pain in my neck this morning and I have no idea what’s causing it.
*remembers having kids*
Oh.
— Mummy Dear (@ThatMummyLife) February 21, 2019
7.
5: Let’s play house, mommy. You be the baby. I’ll be the mommy.
Me: OK
5: It’s night-night time. Go to sleep, baby!
Me: *Kicks, screams, fusses*
5: This isn’t how the game goes, mommy. I’m the mommy, so you have to listen.
Me: Oh, honey, this is *exactly* how the game goes.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 2, 2019
8.
What a parent’s bucket list looks like:
3. Drink hot coffee
2. Shower without kids banging on the door
1. Pee alone— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2019
9.
There just aren’t enough songs about moms folding laundry and slowly losing their minds.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) February 26, 2019
10.
I found these stashed under my daughter’s pillow. My God, what is she planning? pic.twitter.com/6OysE9B7x7
— Burning Mom ⚡️ (@MomOnFire) February 20, 2019
11.
Last night at dinner, my son told me I was pretty completely unprompted. This morning at breakfast my daughter called me a poop stain… completely unprompted.
You win some you lose some I guess.
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) February 21, 2019
12.
Welcome to parenthood.
You have a favorite closet to hide & eat your snacks in now.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 23, 2019
13.
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) February 1, 2014
14.
The new mom at my work is so cute, she's still enthusiastic and doesn't have a drinking problem yet.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) December 31, 2014
15.
Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 23, 2014
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Me: My beautiful daughter, I would cross oceans and move mountains for you. I would fly into the darkness if I knew it would make you happy.
Daughter: Can I have a Dorito?
Me: I’m sorry but these are, unfortunately, my Doritos.
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) June 28, 2018
18.
Having a child is like having a little broke ass best friend
— Vinyl Witch 🧙🏻 (@Aflgirl126) January 12, 2019
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Daughter keeps licking water off the shower floor, but she's our second kid, so we let that stuff slide.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) January 10, 2019
22.
Netflix should have a "times watched" counter for kids' shows so you can track your slow descent into madness.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) June 12, 2017
23.
It doesn’t matter how great of a parent you are. You will, at least once, drag a shrieking demon child from a public place.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) January 3, 2019
24.
Me: Do that thing I like
Husband: [takes the kids and leaves]
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) September 9, 2018
25.
If parenting has taught me one thing, it's to never share a water bottle with a kid eating crackers.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) September 29, 2017
26.
Potty training is going so great! I'm a natural! @prattprattpratt pic.twitter.com/TTeSxQsuwG
— Anna Faris (@AnnaFaris) September 3, 2015
27.
Went to put some milk in my coffee this morning only to realize my kids drank it all. They leave me no choice.
Baileys it is.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 5, 2019
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