I don't carry a wallet & I often put money inside my bra.
At night when I undress, I pretend my boobs are paying me a ransom to be set free.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) August 6, 2015
Me: “Whose bra is that?”
Me: “Why is it on the kitchen windowsill?”
Daughter: “I took it off to eat.”
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) December 30, 2018
A bra is just a jock strap for your chest balls
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) May 31, 2015
Him: Tell me about yourself
Me: WELL, i didn’t wear a bra with my dress today so all my boob sweat dripped onto my feet
— permanent secretary for paul mccartney (@GraceSpelman) June 10, 2016
If anyone ever calls me out for not wearing a bra I'm gonna tell them I left it at their dad's house.
— erin chack (@ErinChack) July 26, 2016
Instead of a coat rack, I'm gonna put a bra collector next to my front door.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) April 20, 2018
i’ve been to work every day this week which is a Win✔️ but i haven’t worn a bra at all which is a Definite Neutral Zone
— Beth McColl (@imteddybless) January 31, 2018
GUY: are you even wearing a bra right now…?
ME: ARE YOU?
— erin chack (@ErinChack) March 13, 2017
I bet dying feels like taking off your bra but better.
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) December 12, 2011
Just found a piece of chicken in my bra so. I'll just catch up with y'all later. I'm gonna sit here and think some things over.
— JO-Piden (@Odenpeacesofme) March 29, 2016
Every woman who has ever taken off a sports bra is a professional escape artist.
— Kate Sidley (@sidleykate) February 14, 2016