After a short but painful post-holiday workweek, we figured you could use a good laugh at the hands of some of Twitter’s most hilarious ladies. You guessed it, it’s time for this week’s roundup of the best funny tweets by women.
So give yourself a little break and enjoy a few laughs on us. You deserve it.
i want to marry someone as funny as me. imagine we both laughing because we forgot to pick the kids up from school
— ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᵍ♡ (@germanndasavage) January 2, 2019
How I imagined I'd look coming to work in the new year vs. how I actually look on Jan 2nd pic.twitter.com/UewJCjbWhS
— Selorm K. (@Selormaggedon) January 2, 2019
Y’all remember scrunching our hair with half a pound of garnier hair gel until it resembled uncooked ramen then finishing the look off by straightening our bangs into oblivion and plastering them to our foreheads? Good times
— braless at kum n go (@queenspeen) December 31, 2018
If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019
My resolution is to hug more people this year but to do that thing where over their shoulder I make an evil smile they have no idea about
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 2, 2019
Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) January 4, 2019
Babysit they said. It’ll be fine they said. pic.twitter.com/B6zzImEPLw
— kailynn jo (@kailynnpokrywki) December 30, 2018
Rom Coms are fake because I once spilled my entire iced coffee on the man sitting next to me and he's not currently my fiance.
— Lyndsay Rush (@rushbomb) January 3, 2019
me when i choose the "documentary" section on netflix pic.twitter.com/OSYVmlF8yD
— Shelly Cherette (@ShellyCherette) January 2, 2019
Coachella poster font is my annual eye exam
— Jill Krajewski (@JillKrajewski) January 3, 2019
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I think Hell is just me sitting in a room having every single drunk text I’ve ever sent read out loud
— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) January 3, 2019
my aunt got a new puppy and sent us this video and I think I’ve watched it approximately 37 times pic.twitter.com/LCNZMU5urL
— sash (@sarahashlev) December 30, 2018
tonight my abuelita whispered, “I want to show you the most beautiful girl in the world,” solemnly leading me to a table packed with old family photos. with one, shaky finger, she pointed, slowly, to a photo… of herself
this is the energy i’m carrying with me into the new year
— david bynch (@soalexgoes) December 31, 2018
I would describe my conference call personality as “also there”
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 3, 2019
every raccoon you see out during the day is participating in a purge
— kim (@KimmyMonte) January 2, 2019