Emily
Happy Friday, folks. You’ve survived yet another long and laborious workweek and the freedom of the weekend is only hours away.
Let’s kick off your coming days of reprieve with a roundup of downright hilarious tweets from some of Twitter’s funniest women.
So, grab a cocktail, kick back and enjoy the best jokes on the internet.
1.
For anyone thinking of moving to LA: I was just sitting in traffic, crying in my Prius. I looked in my mirror and the girl behind me was also crying in her Prius. So, chase those dreams!
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) January 29, 2019
2.
Every parent: do you know how to get there? You just make a left then right then through 3 lights then a left and it’s a mile ahead on the right
Me: *nods as I type the address into google maps*
— Steph (@stEPH_u_) January 30, 2019
3.
no one:
outback steakhouse commercial: STAYK AND LOIBSTAH ONLY HEEUH FOH A LEEMITED TOIME
— katelyn (@noitskatelyn) January 29, 2019
4.
tell me why we were running and taliah said “I CANT KEEP UP!!! MY CROCS ARE NOT ON SPORTS MODE!!!!” 💀 pic.twitter.com/OF68M65gw7
— Alyssa Marie 🇵🇷 (@photosnfreckles) January 29, 2019
5.
https://twitter.com/sarah_berg16/status/1088457058918137863
6.
Know I’m high I done poured this shit in the washing machine all ova my clothes 😭 pic.twitter.com/aiUrRHsXhE
— Ami .🦋 (@tinacoladayeah) January 23, 2019
7.
I am not a good hugger. Tonight a friend hugged me and I dropped some crackers I was holding and just gently said “my crackers” while waiting for the hug to end
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 27, 2019
8.
I just got the asian version of cards against humanity and I don't know if I'm laughing or crying right now pic.twitter.com/qizj8xsDv7
— Grace Li (@gracedli) January 27, 2019
9.
I sent my bf to pick up some concealer for me and I told him to show it to me on his hand so I could see the color. This is what he sent me lol pic.twitter.com/QYQ54oEsQd
— Mrs. Diditfirst (@badgalariiii) January 27, 2019
You May Also Like:
— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) February 1, 2019
10.
I’m at Sephora and the makeup artist asked this woman if she was allergic to anything and she said “shrimp”
— Sam Reece (@ItSamReece) January 27, 2019
11.
https://twitter.com/irispompeii/status/1089534929610915840
12.
https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/1091142251906879495
13.
https://twitter.com/KCKuppenbender/status/1090659597705039873
14.
I wish when people won awards they would shrug and credit it to luck like I do when I show up on time to things.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) February 1, 2019
15.
With no power comes no responsibility.
(fingers crossed)
— batkaren (@batkaren) January 29, 2019
