Happy Friday, folks. You’ve survived yet another long and laborious workweek and the freedom of the weekend is only hours away.
Let’s kick off your coming days of reprieve with a roundup of downright hilarious tweets from some of Twitter’s funniest women.
So, grab a cocktail, kick back and enjoy the best jokes on the internet.
For anyone thinking of moving to LA: I was just sitting in traffic, crying in my Prius. I looked in my mirror and the girl behind me was also crying in her Prius. So, chase those dreams!
— Amy Miller (@amymiller) January 29, 2019
Every parent: do you know how to get there? You just make a left then right then through 3 lights then a left and it’s a mile ahead on the right
Me: *nods as I type the address into google maps*
— Steph (@stEPH_u_) January 30, 2019
outback steakhouse commercial: STAYK AND LOIBSTAH ONLY HEEUH FOH A LEEMITED TOIME
— katelyn (@noitskatelyn) January 29, 2019
tell me why we were running and taliah said “I CANT KEEP UP!!! MY CROCS ARE NOT ON SPORTS MODE!!!!” 💀 pic.twitter.com/OF68M65gw7
— Alyssa Marie 🇵🇷 (@photosnfreckles) January 29, 2019
maggie got a growth removed today and this is what my dad sent me🍸 pic.twitter.com/W4PD0bGXS1
— sarah berg (@sarah_berg16) January 24, 2019
Know I’m high I done poured this shit in the washing machine all ova my clothes 😭 pic.twitter.com/aiUrRHsXhE
— 👱🏽♀️ . (@thebaddesttb) January 23, 2019
I am not a good hugger. Tonight a friend hugged me and I dropped some crackers I was holding and just gently said “my crackers” while waiting for the hug to end
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) January 27, 2019
I just got the asian version of cards against humanity and I don't know if I'm laughing or crying right now pic.twitter.com/qizj8xsDv7
— Grace Li (@gracedli) January 27, 2019
I sent my bf to pick up some concealer for me and I told him to show it to me on his hand so I could see the color. This is what he sent me lol pic.twitter.com/QYQ54oEsQd
— black elle woods (@badgalariiii) January 27, 2019
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) February 1, 2019
I’m at Sephora and the makeup artist asked this woman if she was allergic to anything and she said “shrimp”
— Sam Reece (@SamanthaaaReece) January 27, 2019
some earrings i ordered on aliexpress never arrived and they asked for photo evidence??? pic.twitter.com/4KzGBK2eVt
— iris (@irispompeii) January 27, 2019
Your single male friends are only attending your wedding so they can use the photos for their dating app profile.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) February 1, 2019
There’s no one I want to interact with less than people who are ‘funnily’ disrespectful to their Amazon Alexa device.
— Kasey Kuppenbender (@KCKuppenbender) January 30, 2019
I wish when people won awards they would shrug and credit it to luck like I do when I show up on time to things.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) February 1, 2019
With no power comes no responsibility.
— batkaren (@batkaren) January 29, 2019