20 Tweets From Hilarious Moms With Equally Hilarious Kids

Kids Say The Darndest Things may have returned to CBS last fall, but let’s be real: we get our parental snickers from Twitter now.

And man alive, these parents and their kids have some hysterical stories, one-liners, zingers, and revelations. So, sure, being a mom can be a tough gig… but at least they have these hilarious kids!

We’ve combed through the internet and found some of the best tweets from mothers recently — get ready to laugh. Let us know in the comments which ones you like best!

1. Food

2. Comedy is hard

3. Get this kid a dog.

4. Practice

5. Right??

6. Smart

7. Adds up

8. DID YOU TAKE HER

9. What a lesson

10. Give her the money

11. Fart

Nobody:

My 6-year-old: Planets fart like humans.

— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) October 26, 2021

12. Decide

My daughter has been trying to decide what she wants off the menu for 20 minutes and it’s driving my husband crazy. Our little girl is all grown up and ready for marriage.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) October 22, 2021

13. Fixed

Toddler, hitting me with toy hammer: Mom, I’m fixing you!

Me: *fires therapist*

— meghan (@deloisivete) October 22, 2021

14. Probably no

*Kidzbop song plays*

my 4yo: they were 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 to say "fuck"

— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) October 6, 2021

15. Askew

My toddler came stumbling out of her nursery Halloween party today, cat ears askew, mumbling something about dancing forever and I’ve never seen so much of myself in her until that moment

— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) October 25, 2021

16. Horrifying

Absolutely no one:

My kid: isn’t it weird how no one ever really knows when they’re in the middle of their life

— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 7, 2021

17. Itchy

have kids, so that when you cut yourself and are bleeding and desperately need a bandage you can find an empty box because your child needed all of them when her foot was itchy

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 27, 2021

18. Ouch

My 7 yr old told me she can't draw me because I'm "not symmetrical," in case you're wondering what parenting does for your self-esteem.

— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) September 28, 2021

19. Don’t wonder too hard

4 told me at bedtime all his body parts were tired, especially his penis and his hair and I’m not sure exactly what he’s been doing with his penis and his hair but I don’t think I want to know

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 21, 2021

20. Side eye Oreo

One day you're the "best mom ever" and the next day your kid is giving you the side eye because you ate the last Oreo.

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) October 22, 2021