You don’t truly know someone until you live with them.
If I could give any of you one piece of advice it’s to live with a person before you marry them. I’m sure they seem wonderful but you have no idea if they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or save their toenails in a jar next to their bed. I dated a woman for 3 months before I noticed she kept bags of her dog’s shit in the freezer because she didn’t want them to stink up her trash can.
Monster.
1. The Way My Wife Opens Things
2. My Wife Hung A Nice Picture And A Small Shelf While I Was On Duty. Now My Eye Is Twitching
3. Why I Keep A Secret Tube Of Toothpaste From My Wife And Children
4. I Lost A Loved One Today. I’m Not Sure Which One Yet, But Whoever Cuts Cheese Cake Like This Is Dead To Me
5. My Housemate Still Hasn’t Got Rid Of His Pumpkin From Halloween
6. Damn 3-Year-Olds
7. My Wife Never Finishes A Bottle Of Shampoo Or Body Wash Before Buying A New Kind And Leaving The Old Ones
8. My Roommate’s Toothbrush
9. What Kind Of Person Leaves This In The Freezer
10. “Flatmate Made Pasta, Then Left For A Vacation.” (I Sort Of Want To Cuddle It)
