Generally speaking, it’s rude to make fun of people’s names. Just because it’s not one you’ve heard before doesn’t mean it isn’t completely common somewhere else in the world, somewhere your name seems odd.
That might be why people are enjoying this tweet from Variety reporter Daniel D’Addario, who shared a screenshot of baby names that seem like they’re from another planet, and thus fair game.
“The baby name website I look at every day is truly wrong for this,” he wrote. “Rarely am I at a loss for words…”
The website is called Nameberry, and it offers parents and baby name enthusiasts to search names and then provides a list of names that are “similar” to that name, in case they want some new ideas, I assume.
The picture D’Addario shared was “20 Names Similar to Britney.”
Some of the suggestions sound kind of like inventive spellings of common names, but there were a few that just don’t fit any category: Rebop, Zhorz, and Hason, for example.
Okay, maybe they’re not that weird, but can we really say that they’re “similar” to Britney?! To me, they read like names produced by an algorithm based on where a computer thinks we are headed as a society.
One day, little Ciprien will be battling Dooley for the last water tank of potable water in the northeast. It’s a dark future, but believable.
People are really enjoying the list, though few are admitting that they’d ever take any of these as suggestions. Some have looked up other names on the site to see what else gets suggested to them.
In French, 𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯 means 'nothing'. Imagine naming your newborn child, full of promise and potential, Nothing.
Although I suppose that could just be a Hooked on Phonics version of Ryan.
— Jehanne Factotum (@JaneKizabiMD) February 9, 2021
Ask your doctor if Zhorz is right for you
— CD (@Davisindisguise) February 9, 2021
“If it’s a girl, Britney. If it’s a boy, Zhorz or Rebop.”
— Daniel D'Addario (@DPD_) February 9, 2021
I think that would be magnificent. pic.twitter.com/WGUf3DwNk9
— Elias Eells (@EliasEells) February 9, 2021
This guy? pic.twitter.com/EoJL1TG6Lk
— deadstock perishable (@Liamjsm) February 9, 2021
I think Macer is pronounced like "maker" and the kid is partially 3d printed.
— Karlo ♥︎ Takki (@KarloTakki) February 9, 2021
Yeah but even then it's a nickname for like Brian O'Doul.
— The Latke Ness Monster (@siegelbeagle88) February 9, 2021
— Kevin Boyd (@Beryllium9) February 9, 2021
One person noted these names were a lot like the fake “American” ones chosen by Japanese game developers in 1994:
— MyPillow Public Relations (Official) (@TinzRules) February 9, 2021
All of this almost makes me want to have a kid, just so I can give them a Nameberry Classic suggestion. Maybe I’ll get ten to fifteen dogs instead.