Max
Ryan Reynolds is one of the greatest human beings on the planet.
At least according to his Twitter feed.
I actually have no way of knowing if he’s one of the greatest human beings in his private life.
For all I know, he kicks puppies and yells racial slurs at toddlers.
But his tweets are fucking hilarious and that’s all that matters to me because I’m shallow.
Please enjoy some of the best Ryan Reynolds tweets that have graced the public on Twitter.
Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter’s eyes, whispering, “I can’t do this”.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 26, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Painfully, you gave birth 468 weeks late. I was 9. We were both so happy to be free. pic.twitter.com/B7TDWRuWUe
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 8, 2016
Whoever invented pants probably brings it up in like, every conversation ever.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 27, 2015
The great thing about kite surfing is that – depending on the wind – you can continue kite surfing up to an hour after dying.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 23, 2015
As I soon understood, fly fishing had nothing to do with pulling a trout out of your pants to surprise your brothers. pic.twitter.com/BGzjSGtSFi
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2015
Tip: It’s important parents take little “time outs” for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 3, 2016
Intimidating? Sure. But “Sex-Thirsty Online Predators” is a terrible name for a softball team.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 24, 2015
I’d walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it’s dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
I’m teaching my daughter that the sun goes down each night because it’s mad at her. Probably gonna write a book on parenting at some point.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 5, 2015
Dressed my lazy, 10 month old daughter as Newt Gingrich for Halloween because all she needed was the tie. pic.twitter.com/8elDoaQB7Q
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 30, 2015
I love Words With Friends. Because once you start playing, the next time you look up, another Olympics has come and gone.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) March 10, 2015
The Deliverance theme song is way scarier when you make the banjo sounds with your mouth. It also helps if someone else is in the elevator.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 25, 2015
The taxi driver switched off Adele — mid song. Either his life is perfect, or he has three days to live. No middle ground there.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) December 22, 2015
Ever notice halfway through a shower, that you’re not in the shower at all? Just crying super hard? #HappyCanadaDay
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 2, 2015
My daughter’s only 6 months old and already drawing. I’d hang it on the fridge but honestly, it’s absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
And on the other end of the Twittersphere, is this: My Friend Only Ever Uses Twitter To Complain To Companies And It’s Hilarious.
