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32 Adults Share The Funny, Weird Sex Myths They Believed As Kids

Imagine all of the weird stuff you believed as a kid. Sure, we are taught a lot of lessons but there is plenty of life lessons you try to understand and draw weird conclusions to on our own as a child.

Sex is most definitely one of those things. Adult life is dominated by it and sex-ed is taught way too late and with far too few details. It only makes sense that our weird child minds would do what they needed to: believe whatever made it make sense.

Redditor jjpg1112 asked the people of Reddit :

“What were weird myths about you thought about sex as a kid?”

And the responses are as hilarious as they are innocent. 

Here are 32 of the funniest things the people believed about sex as a kid.


“I had no clue what ejaculation was in 5th grade, so I though the thing went in and stayed there for like, the whole night. 7 hours or something, then the baby appeared.” –HaroldMcbob


“In elementary a kid asked me if I knew what a condom was. I went ahead and described a nicotine patch.” –Pluckt007


“I was not aware of the vagina having an access to an inside before I hit puberty, so I thought sex was, well, anal. And that birth was basically shitting a baby out. So anytime I was having a hard time with number 2 in the bathroom, I would try to motivate myself that I’m basically practicing the pain for child birth, and that it could be so much worse.” –maheen9393


“Whoever tried harder would determine the gender of the baby.” –rosenes2


“That you just put your dick inside a woman and then the sperm starts flowing continuously, like pee. Oh and that you actually have to push the sperm out yourself, like pee. You learn to do that when you get old enough. And that involuntary ejaculations during night happen only a few times until you learn to ejaculate yourself.” –Odin_Allfathir


“That, since I have only one sibling, that meant my parents only did it two times.” –RekNepZ


“My sister thinks sex is two people laying naked on top of each other and talking about marriage.” –satansgoldfish2222


“You will go blind by masturbating. (Thanks to my wife for helping me by typing this.)”-minigopher



“Sex lasts all night. Like, you go into bed and then it is happening until sunrise.” –FunnyAfro


“When I was really really young, I thought a vagina was shaped like a perfect cylindrical hole. This was before sex-ed of course.” –Saint_Raymond