I’ve never understood why vegans catch so much flak.
It’s not as as though they push their diet on others any more than those people who are, like, really into bacon (a far more befuddling and all-around harmful) or people who do CrossFit (ditto) or whatever.
All vegans want is to not contribute to the rapid demise of our environment or to cause suffering to other fellow creatures. That, and to eat all the buffalo cauliflower bites.
Which is why only vegans are permitted to laugh at the following 24 tweets.
me when the restaurant has more than one vegan option https://t.co/QCqgPOHK9E
— emily (@emiewi) September 26, 2018
The most annoying "vegan thing" that happens:
When I have a normal snack, like pretzels, and offer it to someone and their response is "Well let's see how good these *vegan* pretzels are!" They're the same pretzels you've eaten your entire life, Becky.
— Joe Fries Ⓥ (@Joe_Fries) February 10, 2018
‘if ur a vegan why do u eat so much unhealthy food’
first of all, i hate myself not the animals
— em jane Ⓥ🌹 (@emjdv) October 16, 2017
so y’all will stop using straws to save fish but won’t stop eating fish to save fish
— india 👽 Ⓥ (@tofumuse) July 26, 2018
ppl: I'll never understand why ppl go vegan
vegan: there are plenty reasons like ethics &
ppl: we may never know
— rat babie (@theveganqueen) April 29, 2017
me watching the starbucks baristas to make sure they put almond milk and not dairy milk in my coffee pic.twitter.com/UzCkLfbJtM
— Bailey Renalds (@BeccaBailey9) March 26, 2018
Me: I’m vegan
Y’all: okay then miss vegan ass, what would you do if you were on an island with no trees, no vegetation, no other people, no boat, no candles, no clothes, no teeth, no knees, no sunscreen, no flu shot, no sand, no island, no sea salt, no shade, no water, no eyes, n
— ♡☁ONE FOOT IN THE STREET☁️♡ (@Syvanndra) July 10, 2018
“I’ve never had vegan food”
Me: damn not even a french fry?
— Evan (@evan_soy) August 16, 2018
vegetables in the grocery store as soon as i walk past them & make my way to the unhealthy vegan alternatives section pic.twitter.com/RLLGKCxKhX
— culera (@viviunuu) April 17, 2018
“what are you eating?”
me: “vegan chicken nuggets!”
“omg we get it you don’t eat meat you don’t have to say it’s vegan every time”
“what are you eating?”
me: “chicken nuggets”
“uuuMMMM just CHICKEN NUGGETS???? I THouGhht THAT U diDN’t EAT MEAT???”
— chickpea (@souphaver) September 24, 2018
me trying to make sure my meal doesn’t include meat, dairy, or eggs without telling the waiter that i’m a vegan pic.twitter.com/GRq0BIxqJ3
— C👁LLIN (@collinrenfro) May 24, 2018
Honey if you don't let the doctor install this vegan placenta our baby will be born a murderer is that what you want
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) December 12, 2015
Is there a separate vegan Santa who gets about on a segway or something instead of enslaving reindeers?
— A Muppet's Christmas Kinell (@Colak) December 14, 2015
me: made vegan tacos
everyone: VEGANS NEVER SHUT U P ABOUT BEING VEGAN
me: made tacos
everyone: ARENT U VEGAN? ARE THEY VEGAN? THEY DONT LOO
— ◯ (@mitchwelling) December 15, 2015
[RUNS THRU AIRPORT TO STOP GIRL FROM GETTING ON PLANE]
Me: Wait, I have to tell you something!
Her: Oh wow! I knew you lov-
Me: I'M VEGAN
— Steve Dutzy (@SteveDutzy) December 7, 2015
"I'm a vegan"
— MisoSilly (@SeiYoung83) December 6, 2015
MINISTER: Do you take this man to be your husband?
BRIDE: I do
MINISTER: Do you take this woman to be your wife?
VEGAN GROOM: I’m a vegan
— Dr. Pumpkin Spiceotope (@BuckyIsotope) September 7, 2015
[gets abducted by aliens]
"can we stop for coffee?"
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) September 30, 2015
Reporter: How do you feel about all this?
Man in windshield: I just wanted to say I'm vegan. pic.twitter.com/kclqJ3AsjG
— orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe) October 15, 2015
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Give a vegan a fish and you'll never hear the end of it.
— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) December 6, 2015
*someone starts having a heart attack*
person: is anyone here a doctor??
vegan: im a vegan
— george w kush (@yungshoelace) April 20, 2015
As a vegan my favorite past times include eating twigs and leaves, rolling around in dirt instead of showering & performing human sacrifices
— Mary (@heymaryx) December 10, 2015
ur a vegan but u dont have kale flavored chapstick? fake
— cass (@heystopdat) December 12, 2015