Emily
11.
[phone call from jail]
Me: so don’t be mad-
Husband: you did it again, didn’t you?
Me: all I did was sing “Santa Baby” and maybe I gave him a little lap dance
Husband: your obsession with seducing the mall Santa is tearing this family apart
— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) December 2, 2018
12.
just would like to share what is currently happening to me on tinder pic.twitter.com/fDioZBFJPO
— gale (@abigailleigh14) November 30, 2018
13.
”Millennials love action and 90’s nostalgia”
Michael Bay: Hold my beer pic.twitter.com/EjCtszuh4v— adam.the.creator (@AdamPadilla) December 3, 2018
14.
One door closes and another opens
One door closes and another opens
One door closes and another opens*me eating my way through my advent calendar
— Amanda Elaine;* (@AmandaElaine_92) December 2, 2018
15.
I just walked into my room holding the remote and a glass of chocolate milk and I meant to toss the remote into my bed but instead I tossed the glass of chocolate milk onto my bed
— ⌬ Anna Davis ⌬ (@radscientist_) November 30, 2018
