Whenever we put together our weekly roundups of the most hilarious tweets Twitter has to offer, we often find that most of these tweets are written by women—no surprise there. So, we figured why not highlight some of the best tweets specifically from women each week. Because tbh, we know who runs this motha.
Do you remember when your mom would take you shopping and you would come home and do a “fashion show” for your dad who was half asleep on the couch and would give you a nod and a “very nice” for every outfit or was that just my family.
— Brooke March (@Brooke_L_March) November 28, 2018
i hate ranting to my boyfriend because he’ll use sound logic and reasoning and i’m really just looking for someone to be just as overdramatic about the situation as i am
— hannah (@gulickhannah) November 27, 2018
crocs but thigh high
— Danya (@dxxnya) November 28, 2018
Wanna hear a new level of “being a shitty roommate”?
I asked my roommate to take the trash out, as I have been gone a week and a half.
She then proceeded to PICK THROUGH THE TRASH AND ONLY THREW OUT THINGS THAT SHE THREW AWAY.
W H A T ?!
— Leah Vasquez (@LV_Eventing) November 25, 2018
My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA
— tay (@Taylor_Stag) November 26, 2018
This girl I used to go out with is still using my Netflix and that’s cool. She’s watching Scandal and is currently on S7E12. Series finale is S7E18. Guess who’s changing her password as soon as she gets to episode 17? Yep, it’s Petty Labelle.
— 🏳️🌈Quee(r)n Regina (@heyqueenregina) November 26, 2018
all you need is one pic.twitter.com/6Jcc0zLJsV
— Tabir Akhter (@tabir) November 29, 2018
the instagram story display order algorithm is so humbling it knows who i have a crush on before i do
— t (@radioheadass) November 28, 2018
Everyone talks about how little a T-Rex’s arms are but no one talks about how big his heart is. He volunteered at a soup kitchen every Thanksgiving. Ladling hot soup directly onto his crotch because he couldn’t reach the bowls. But, damnit, he kept trying.
— Lisa Marie 🏳️🌈 (@xLiserx) November 30, 2018
‘People you may know’ on Fb should be called ‘people you may hate’ cause if you have that many friends in common it’s a choice
— Lana Walters (@Lana_Wallie) November 26, 2018