Kate Hackett
Parenting sure seems like a judge-y place, doesn’t it?
From practically day 1, people have thoughts about how you should raise your kids and ideas about how to do it. There’s attachment parenting and Montessori and a myriad of other ways to bring up your children, but then there are the trends that just make no damn sense.
u/qquackie recently asked “What parenting ‘trend’ do you strongly disagree with?” and the parents of Reddit came out to let us all know what trends just do not make the cut. Here are some of the best.
1. Negativity
Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions.
They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle.
2. Tell them No!
Pretending that not parenting is parenting. ‘I wont tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don’t want to crush his spirit!’
3. Throwing away art
I don’t know how much of a trend it was but I’m TikTok there was a trend of parents throwing away their kids art in front of them and the parents would like laugh while the kid was sobbing.
4. Gentle parenting
Fake “Gentle Parenting”
You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions.
5. Rules
Not setting clear boundaries. You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences.
6. No obstacles
The “bulldozer” parent – ie the parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes – unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person – then, being a bulldozer parent is great.
7. Crap for social media
That thing where they pretend they got their kids a ps5 for example, the kids are freaking out with excitement, but then its just a ps5 box filled with books or something.
8. Forced to perform
Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society
9. Say no!
Not saying no to your child. They have to learn to deal with a no sometimes, and having a chat about why it is no and whether it could be a yes another time is also an important part of them learning to deal with no.
10. Believe the teacher
Not believing the teacher ever. “My kid never lies to me”.
Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing.
11. Hovering
Nonstop supervision. Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?
12. Hands off
The whole “hands off parenting approach” drives me nuts to see parents never tell their kids no and just let them do whatever they want.
13. Talking back
Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they’re “talking back”. I honestly don’t get why most parents refuse to admit they’re not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?
14. RELAX.
Helicopter parenting, kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside o a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom.
15. Repeating patterns
Doing little shitty things to them because it was done to you as a child.
16. YES, YES, YES.
Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places
17. Stupid buzzwords
Parents incorporating personal wellness buzzwords into their excuses for being neglectful and sometimes even abusive to their kids. Like “I shouldn’t have to owe my own time and money to somebody whose behavior just isn’t contributing to my happiness and positive energy blah blah blah they’re exploiting the legal and societal pressures on—” sir that is a fourteen-year-old you literally chose to raise and no amount of talking like a self-help book will change thay, grow up.
18. Terrified to fail
Making your child terrified to fail. I remember constantly being told if I ever even got a “C” or below— on even something as minor as a pop quiz— I would be “flipping burgers for a living.” I was so unmotivated to even try by the time high school came, because it had been drilled into me that I was destined to be a loser.
19. One sport FOREVER
Starting a kid in a single sport from an early age and making that their whole life for some goddamn reason
20. Talking down
Talking down to kids and making them feel stupid. Sure maybe at 5 they aren’t the most intellectual people, but 9/10 year old are smarter then people give them credit for. Don’t talk to then like they are stupid because they are not. The only thing that does is lower their self esteem and makes them feel small.
