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20 People Share Their Absolutely Bonkers Baby Naming Stories

Listen, I do NOT know the pressure on you when you name a baby. I do not have a baby. But I imagine it’s pretty high, right? Like, this is the thing EVERYONE will call this new human being forever. Also, you just had a baby and you’re probably hopped up on Demerol or whatever. Like, high stakes, isn’t it?

The BuzzFeed Community recently shared some tales about wild baby naming and y’all, I’m HERE for it. Check out some of the best responses below.

1. Just George

“I had a family friend whose dad wanted a boy and insisted that the next child be named after him. When it turned out to be a girl, he didn’t even use a feminine version. She was just a girl named George. By the time I knew her, she had a great sense of humor about it.” —alanamuir

2. Just a name on a flyer… for a missing child

“My friend recently told me that his grandmother saw a really pretty name on a flyer and told his parents how much she liked it. The parents agreed and ended up giving him the name. It was a flyer for a missing child.” —beanielebean

3. A calendar

“My mom cheated on the man she was married to and got pregnant with me. The man she was married to wanted to name me Matilda, but when I was born he realized I wasn’t his kid and left. When they brought the paperwork in for my birth certificate, my mom couldn’t think of anything so she saw a calendar and named me April.” —jayelles2514

4. Spellcheck’s your pal

“My mom wanted us to both have a middle name that started with ‘K,’ but I guess ‘Knacole’ (exactly how you think it sounds) was all she could come up with instead of literally any other ‘K’ name.” —courtnees2

5. A business card

“My brother’s name was taken from a business card. My parents were still deciding on the last day of registering my brother when my dad found a business card in his pocket and noted the contact details. He asked mom what she thought of this name. She liked it enough to go with it.” —superkay

6. Named for pizza

“My former sister-in-law named her son after a popular DJ in her town. Why? He was running the contest, ‘What Would You Do For a Free Pizza?’ She said the pizza was good.” —createityourself

7. Lark!

“My mother announced she and my father (who had been married for only two years) were expecting a baby. My asshole grandmother said it was a dumb idea and that having a kid wasn’t something to do as a lark. Hence, my middle name is Lark. They were married 37 years before she died so it all worked out.” —hagelauerhouse

8. Named for cars

“My name is Carly Dale. I’m named after cars and race car driver Dale Earnhardt.” —ctysarczyk

9. Blueberry in Polish

“My name is Jagoda, which means blueberry in Polish. My parents came up with this name after the nurse who brought me to them after I was born dressed in a knitted purple hat. I also had huge, dark blue eyes so they called me a Blueberry (and I love it).” —homeysun52

10. Named for musicals

“My sister’s baby names are currently the talk of the family. She and her husband met at college in a musical performance program, so they are naming their children based on musicals. Their first daughter is named Truly, from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Unusual, but a pretty cute name once we got used to it. Her second daughter…sigh. She’s currently two months old and everyone is struggling to come up with a nickname that my sister will accept. Her name is Edelweiss, from The Sound of Music.” —arieladventures

11. Named for the Miranda rights

“My parents are both lawyers so I was named Miranda after the Miranda rights — you know, what police officers read to detainees being arrested: ‘You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you…'” —mirandar44b1cec74

12. Liked some barrettes.

“My mom was out shopping one day while pregnant. She found a hair barrette with my name on it — Caitlin — and liked the spelling. She bought the barrettes and I still have them 20+ years later.” —caitlinc41c8026cb

13. Just really like the name Tiffany?

“My parents’ friends’ had a little shih tzu pup named Tiffany. They loved the name. My parents then got a female hamster who they named Tiffany. Fast forward to my conception, and they still weren’t over the name. And so the story goes. I was named after a hamster who was named after a dog.” —tsr88

14. Accidental name change

“My parents wanted to name me ‘Tracie’ but because of their thick Haitian accents, the nurse heard ‘Jessie’ and wrote that down. they didn’t realize the name switch until I was signed up for preschool. I was “Tracie” until about 3 years old and then I went by ‘Jessie’ after that. I wish I could record how they say ‘Tracie’ because it does sound like Jessie. In a Haitian accent it sounds like ‘Chaysee’ because they pronounce the T and R together as a ‘CHE’ sound.” —meowmeowpow

15. Did not get the boy they thought they would

“My parents were sure they were having a boy, and decided to name the baby after my dad, David. Cut to the day of labor and my dad didn’t get the junior he was expecting. So, with no back-up name, they slapped an ‘a’ on the end of my dad’s name and Davida was the result. I hated it for the longest time and was teased for it, but it’s nothing a few punches couldn’t handle.” —daviestrada421

16. Drove by a Wendy’s

“My former history professor was named Wendy because her mother drove past a Wendy’s billboard when she was pregnant.” —hailcthulhu

17. All My Children inspiration

“My name was supposed to be Samantha but my shit dad was in jail and happened to see a character named Cecily on All My Children. He called my mom as soon as he could and told her that’s what he wanted to name me. My mom liked it but didn’t know how to spell it (and never bothered to look it up) so she added an extra ‘e’, making my name is Ceciley.” —cecims2929

18. Not born at the right time

“My parents were going to name me Summer but I was born five days before Christmas so they named me Cortney.” –anonymous

19. Adam Sandler

“So my son’s middle name is Adam. My husband is obsessed with Adam Sandler, they have the same birthday (10 years apart though), and he thinks they’re like destined to be friends. He bugged me until I agreed on Adam as a middle name. Anyway, if anyone knows Adam Sandler please inform him that he has a 34-year-old stalker. Kthanks.” —Dovahqueen

20. British Queens

“My mother named my sister and I after English Queens. So my sister Elizabeth gets to rule generation after generation, and I, Katherine, get my head chopped off by Henry the 8th. Guess we know who mom’s favorite is.” —kate3