Patricia Grisafi
Face it, we all have acne stories. My personal favorite is the time I used Head & Shoulders on my back acne the week before prom, and burned my skin with the chemicals! My back looked like a red hot mess, and I had a strapless dress. But I for sure was not alone in my acne struggles. Teenagers all over battle with acne — some more than others. And it can be really upsetting.
When one Dad on Reddit made a joke about his daughter’s acne, it’s very understandable that she just stopped talking to him.
“This happened a few days ago. I (43M) have a daughter (16F) that is obviously going through puberty and just like any other teen, she is seeing a lot of changes in her body, most recently acne in her face and arms. I try to be supportive of her and I have bought her special soaps and creams to help her control it although I haven’t seen much difference or I don’t think they really help that much,” the OP writes.
“Anyways, the other day at the dinning table she was complaining to her mother and I about how the soaps I have bought haven’t been working on her and that she feels very uncomfortable, so she asked if we could take her to the dermatologist to help her with her acne. I then told her that she should just befriend the pimples since nothing she has been doing has helped and they just wanted to be a part of her, all in a very sarcastic tone. I thought my daughter and wife would take it as it is, humor but they both got really mad at me, my daughter stormed to her bedroom and my wife started scolding me, telling me I was a bad father while also telling me to apologize to her since those comments can really affect her. I told them I was just joking and that they should stop being party poopers and killing the mood.”
“My daughter hasn’t talked to me since that day and my wife thinks I am a huge asshole for what I did and only talks to me to tell me to apologize, so AITA for making a harmless joke?”
NEVER tell a 16-year-old to befriend their pimples! Facepalm into eternity, Dad!
“YTA. Seriously, puberty is hard enough without some insensitive ass joking about your acne. Don’t do that,” said shoot_your_eye_out.
“YTA some teenagers have acne that won’t clear up without prescription medication. She turned to you, her father, for help. Instead of reassuring her that you would get her the medical care she needs, you humiliated and mocked her. Man up and be her father: Apologize for humiliating her with your not funny ‘Dad humor’ joke. Take her to a dermatologist,” advised Fantastic_Nebula_835.
“She’s insecure and having trouble with her appearance and what do you do? Decide that a joke would be appropriate. She’s clearly sensitive about the acne and asking for help, so why poke fun at that? How insensitive of you. This is why children have trouble coming to their parents with their insecurities because they joke about them and treat the insecurity as less than. It’s really sad that you’re wondering if you should apologize or not. If someone’s feelings get hurt, there’s nothing harmless about the joke,” said meIodramaz.
“Something I’ve come to realize recently is that there’s really two separate questions in issues like this – what you intended and what your impact was. You didn’t intend to hurt your daughter. You intended to lighten the mood. Your impact, though, was different. You hurt her, deeply. This is probably something that she is getting mocked for at school, and probably something she already hates about herself. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what your intent was. It matters what your impact was. When you find out you’ve hurt someone, you apologize. Now you know. Now you know that’s not a joke to her. Having the impact of hurting someone without the intent doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or irredeemable – it means that once you know, now you have the chance to fix it. OP, YTA. But you still have a chance to make this right,” explained ladybuglily.
After reading all the comments, the OP added to his post that he sees where he made his mistake:
“After reading all of these comments non stop for about an hour I want to apologize to anyone that felt offended because of my actions or because they remembered a sad time in their lives. I want to say that I will apologize to my daughter and wife and I will try to be more supportive next time with my daughter since we are all different and not because I, a grown man can withstand criticism, means she can do it. I will be more supportive of her and I will for sure seek professional help to fix her problem. I can see not everyone appreciates my way of thinking and I will also avoid making comments that might hurt my loved ones. Thank you reddit for giving me that lecture I really needed and I’m deeply sorry.”
Featured Image: Pexels
