Patricia Grisafi
Teenagers are notorious for misbehaving and acting out. But obviously, not all of them.
One Redditor has a daughter who seems really mature — maybe too much so. She’s incredibly responsible and almost seems like a “hermit.” But as her story unfolds, it appears that the OP’s husband is flat out verbally abusive to their daughter. This becomes terribly apparent on a vacation that they take — and the OP leaves in a rage and checks in to another next hotel. What should she do next?
“It our first real vacation since 2020 and my first with just my husband and in over 10 years. Our daughter Annie (17) was left home alone. For some reason recently Annie can do no right in hubby’s eyes. Dress, music, chores. He has deemed her irresponsible. It farthest from the truth. She has a summer job and makes good grades. She’s in-fact kinda a hermit for her age,” the OP writes.
“Unknown to me my husband set the hot water heater to refill only once a day while we are gone. Annie did some dishes and laundry. She took a shower and the water was cold. She was upset and thought it broke and called us panicking. My husband yelled into her for wasting our hot water and telling her how irresponsible she was enough to make her cry.”
“I got madder than I ever have in this marriage and basically said most parents would love to have a 17 year old like Annie. We argued and screamed all night so next day I left the resort to a little hotel down the street. My husband as been trying to call me and I told Annie to block her father and don’t pay attention to him.”
“My husband is mad about the wasted money on this vacation, but I can’t stand to even look at him over an argument over something so stupid and preventable.”
This sounds like an abuse situation — and it needs to stop.
“Your husband dislikes your daughter, so much so that he manipulated a situation so that he could have an excuse to bully her. This is deeply toxic and obsessive behavior. You need to truly consider whether you are enabling this abuse by staying with him and giving him an avenue for the ongoing verbal abuse of your child. NTA for your behavior here, thanks for sticking up for an innocent kid,” said
“NTA. Let me get this straight…your husband is mad because the daughter who was home alone washed dishes, did laundry, and took a shower? My mom would have jumped up and down if I washed dishes and did laundry as a 17 yr old home alone. That’s f*cking nuts. You’re absolutely NTA. Your daughter seems awesome and your husband needs…help, or something. You are awesome for standing up for your daughter like that,” agreed
“NTA. Your husband sees your daughter as unworthy of even having hot water, ‘less than.’ This can’t be the only instance he’s treated her awfully. It’s time to protect your daughter and put your foot down. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior. Either he needs therapy or you need to do more than leave him just for the vacation,” suggested
“NTA, but you need to realise that your husband is abusive. You say your daughter is a hermit, and I think I know the reason why, and you need to do more for your daughter. Either he improves, or you need to leave him to protect your daughter. The fact that this has gone on for so long makes you close the being the AH,” said
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