u/SafeTaro visited the Am I The Assh*le subreddit recently to ask a simple question:
“AITA for not apologizing and causing my daughter to lose one of her few friends?”
But the story is a little bit more involved than that title would have us believe.
Here’s what she wrote:
My daughter is 12 years old. She’s always struggled making friends but last school year met “Danielle”. To me, Danielle was a little bossy and cared a lot about popularity, obsessed with making my daughter popular but I figured she was just trying to help. And she was nice. When the schools reopened, Danielle’s mom asked me if I wanted to carpool. She’d drive the kids in the morning and I’d pick them up along with Danielle’s older brother (14). I agreed.
At first it went well and the girls loved it. But one constant struggle was getting Danielle and her brother to wear their seat belts. This is a no argument situation for me, kid or adult, you’re wearing a seatbelt. I lost a friend in high school and it all could’ve been prevented had she worn it. The kids constantly complained and would take them off. I talked to their mom and she kind of shrugged it off. Eventually, they got a little better about not arguing about it but still wouldn’t do it on their own.
It came to a head a few weeks ago. I had to stop at the post office before I brought them home. I parked my car, walked to the mailbox and came back. It took all of a minute, but in that time, Danielle and her brother had taken them off. I told them to put them back on. They refused. I said I wasn’t driving until they put them on. They still refused. I called their mother, she didn’t answer. Called their father, he didn’t answer. Finally, I just followed through on my threat and sat there until they finally put them on. It took 45 minutes. The whole time, my daughter kept begging me to just drive but I refused.
I drop them off. Back at home, their mom calls me, mad. She said I made her son late for a soccer game. I said he wouldn’t have been if he just wore his seatbelt. She told me I’m not their mom, so I don’t get to control them. I said if they’re in my car, they follow my rules. It all ended with us agreeing to stop the carpool arrangement, which I was fine with. We finished the school year driving our own kids to school.
However, now Danielle’s mom says they can’t talk until I apologize to Danielle and her brother. I refuse. I did nothing wrong. My daughter is upset because Danielle is one of her few friends. My husband thinks I should fake an apology so our daughter can keep her friend. I don’t think it’s worth it. I’m not setting an example that they can do whatever at my house and I won’t say anything. My daughter is hurt and furious, currently not speaking with me.
So basically, the mom told the two guests in her car that they needed to wear their seatbelts and the mother of the two guests went batsh-t for some reason.
u/SafeTaro‘s daughter is very upset and her dad thinks that the mother should just fake an apology.
Enter… Reddit. Who thinks the mom is bonkers.
psyong2017 bluntly stated, “NTA. In fact Danielle’s mother owes you an apology for raising 2 children that were blatantly disrespectful. Seat belts save lives. You did the right thing.”
“Can you even imagine being a 12 yr old in another parent’s car and making them wait 45(!) minutes for not following their rules?!?” wrote nextact, which is EXACTLY what I thought reading this story.
The general consensus was an overwhelming “Not the Asshole.” What do you think?