Kate Hackett
To be entirely honest, childbirth sounds like something I wouldn’t really miss missing out on. After nine months of growing an alien being that siphons your nutrients, you have to then push that 9 pound monster out of your body? Via your vagina?
Ladies & gents: no thank you.
And these women who have given birth and regretted it share stories about just how awful the experience was in a viral thread from u/Baby_noodles4u. Check out some of the best replies.
1. Wasn’t prepared
I wasn’t prepared to almost die, lose my uterus, or raise a disabled child. I love my son so much, but damn… I never would have chosen this life for him. For any of us. I feel naive and stupid for ever thinking I was ready for this. For convincing my husband we were ready for this.
2. Wrecked me
I would’ve hired a surrogate if I were rich. Seriously, pre- and post-natal hormones wrecked me for a few years. Emotionally and physically I was a mess. Overweight, stressed, tired, and moody all the time. Seeing therapists and exercising didn’t really help, it was the hormones. My husband was, and still is, amazingly gracious to me, cuz if I were him I probably would’ve wanted to separate. My youngest is 6 and I feel like I’m just now getting my life and body back together. My kids are amazing tho so I can’t say it wasn’t worth it.
3. Career
I would have my children again, given the choice. But I wasn’t prepared for the way my career would slow because of them.
It’s the little things like not being able to travel to conferences. Taking more time off than non-parenting peers due to kids being sick. Etc.
Their dad turned out to be a dumpster fire, the judge prohibited him from even seeing one of the kids. So that didn’t help.
I love the kids and have tried to instill good values, and I am just not as high up the corporate ladder as I thought I could achieve.
4. Walking incubator
Being made into a walking incubator who must adhere to strict guidelines of how and what to eat and drink, must not have this, or that. How dare I lose weight! Every thing I did second guessed, but when I went for help because of leg swelling, dismissed like it was no big deal (I was in pre-E at the time and the doc refused to see it). Having to have my pelvis reconstructed after walking around for years with my organs barely inside of me and told that there was nothing they would do until I was nearly 40 because “I might have more kids” and the fix they did do in my 20’s didn’t fix shit. Pain in sex. Being jabbed with chemicals just as the child is birthing because it’s “standard of care.” Being told that I didn’t know anything about pregnancy and childbirth and that I wasn’t in labour (and yet, had the kid less than 3 hrs later). Being treated as a third class citizen because “we want a healthy baby” but not a healthy mother AND child. Knowing that my worth to not only my family of origin, but to his family, was the crotch drops I made, and that I had no value or worth. Learning that I was expendable. That I didn’t have kids, I was not a real woman anyway. That as a teen mother, it was assumed I dropped out of high school. That, also as a teen mother, having a stillbirth meant no sympathy other than “at least you’re not a teen mother!” Knowing full well that child services will be used like a hammer against you if you don’t parent the way others see fit.
5. Parent
I regret who I had a child with and how my life was pretty much changed for the worse. I was now tied to my abusive husband and his wacko family.
6. Disabled by the pregnancy
Love my son, get on fine with his father. But nearly two decades later I’m still disabled by pregnancy and birth and it’s never going to get better. If I had known then what I know now, etc. (I grow tumours when I’m pregnant, among other not-so-fun aspects. If we had realised it’s a family tendency I would have stayed childless.)
7. Disabilities
I’ll preface this with I love my son with all my heart. I was never prepared for a child with disabilities. We were warned beforehand and we were so sure we’d manage just fine. The part that kills me the most is that my husband deals with it all just fine and I’m a mess. I feel like I was never meant to be a mom, at least to young kids. I have an 18 year old that lives with his father that I’ve always been able to relate to and have no problems being a part time mom to. Maybe I was just never meant to be a full time parent, which sounds like such bullshit to me. I don’t know. I’m rambling. I’m lonely.
8. Abusive
I am tied to an abusive man for the next 13 years or until one of us dies.
9. The world
I regret it only for the world my son is inhereting. This society is a pile of dog poo.
10. Ouch
I tore forward, ripped my urethra and clitoris. Permanent nerve damage. Also developed a bunch of autoimmune diseases in my mid 30s, after 4 pregnancies. Leading theory is that micro-chimerism from the stem cells that stay in your body after a pregnancy is a big contributing cause.
11. Pregnancy
I don’t regret giving birth, but I will absolutely never get pregnant again. My pregnancy was the worst experience I’ve ever had to go through. I practically lived in the hospital with daily IV treatments. I had HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) which causes me to vomit nonstop. I was on a zofran pump and almost put on a feeding tube. I have ptsd from vomiting so much. I would get an abortion if I ever got pregnant again.
12. Lonely
It was the loneliest time in my life and it permanently ties me to the person who contributed the most to that loneliness. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, and her father is an amazing father to her. But I hate that I have to deal with him still despite being broken up.
13. Pregnancy was awful
Pregnancy does not get along with me, it wrecked my hormones for a while, it’s a hard recovery. Giving birth was hard but what came after was much worse. I had to get on meds because the hormones made me unable to leave my house.
14. Sounds AWFUL.
If I could have ordered and picked up my daughter at the store then I would have. Maybe chosen the sleeps better add on too.
Pregnancy almost killed me, in several ways 🙄 hated almost every second of it. My body is still, 2years pp, wrecked. In pain everyday. Will never be the same.
If money was more abundant then I would have another via surrogate but if I could afford that I could afford a nanny/night nurse and private surgery so would have a better time all round. I love my little girl to the ends of the earth and she was worth it but if I had known before then she wouldn’t have been – if that makes sense.
15. Too young
I was too young to have a kid. I love my kid so much, but both of us suffered because I just wasn’t ready to be a mother. I was extremely immature and irresponsible, and I resented not having a normal teenage experience which very quickly turned into crushing depression and anxiety. Honestly I wish I’d had an abortion and waited until I was older and had my shit together to even consider becoming a parent. My kid had to grow up with a parent who wasn’t fully grown up, and that sucks.
16. Mental issues
My kids have inherited mental issues from both parents. We were young and we didn’t know. I just hate to see them suffer.
17. Painful
I would have another baby if it wasn’t for birth. Jut give me the baby and none of that painful birth lol
18. Traumatic birthing
While I don’t regret having my daughter, I wish I would have spoken up and done things differently. I had a horrible traumatic birthing experience. I went to a large hospital where I was a number not a name and it was awful. I still can’t think about it without getting teary eyed.
19. Pregnancy problems
Hyperemesis gravidarum for the entire pregnancy. That will do it to any woman. Crazy thing is I want two more lmao. I don’t necessarily regret giving birth tho, just the pregnancy part because of how sick I get.
20. Post partum depression
I would go though it again to get my son but my body isn’t the same. PPD is a wicked witch. I tore and 4 years later I’m still having major issues. My skin down there is thin and if I wipe just a tiny bit too hard I hurt for weeks. It’s terrible. But my son is amazing
