Siera Bearchell is an influencer, entrepreneur, and a Miss Universe Top 9. She’s also raising her daughter, Lily, and sharing it on TikTok to over 187.1k followers.
Her most recent video went viral, quickly gaining 2.3 million likes.
She shared that she realized people speak to her daughter differently based on whether they think Lily is a boy or a girl.
“Once I realized it, it blew my mind,” she said in the video.
Siera revealed that when people think Lily is a boy, they comment on her strength and her abilities. When they think Lily is a girl, they discuss her looks and her outfits.
Here’s what Siera had to say:
I have to tell you something that once I realized it, it blew my mind. My daughter is in the backseat, sleeping, wearing Lion King pjs, and naturally people always think she’s a boy when she’s wearing something like that or when she’s wearing neutral colors. Basically, when she’s not wearing pink or a dress.
I don’t care that people think she’s a boy sometimes… but what I care about is that I realized people talk to her completely differently when they think she’s a girl vs. when they think she’s a boy.
99.9% of the time when they think she’s a girl, they always comment on how pretty she is, her dress, she’s so beautiful…
When they think she’s a boy, they will say things like “Wow! you’re so fast! You’re so strong! Look at you go!”
This has been happening since she was a baby. So before our kids can walk or talk, we are telling them that as girls, the most important things about them and the most important things that people notice is how they look and how they dress.
As boys, the most important thing about them is their actions and what they do.
There’s nothing wrong with commenting on the looks or clothing of little kids and babies because they’re always so cute, but I do believe we need to comment more on the strength and actions of little girls because they need to know they’re more than pretty.
Early childhood directly influences many skills so it’s important to know that gendered attitudes and expectations expressed to young children can deeply manifest into their psyche and become part of their personalities as they age. Thankfully, it seems that our society has started to really pay attention to how it speaks to its boys and girls — perhaps change is around the corner.