This is probably the perfect thread for anyone planning to have a baby or awaiting a birth. It draws the curtain on a lot of issues most people don’t know about until it’s too late: when they’re holding their ugly baby in their arms and sobbing. Prepare yourself before that happens.
Yes, some babies are born ugly and there’s lots of reasons why, besides genetics. On r/AskReddit, u/koreanjudas asked, “Parents of reddit, did any of you went ‘damn, my baby is ugly’ when you saw your child for the first time and how did you actually react?”
Reddit is mostly anonymous, so these parents are privately confessing to a very taboo thought, which is believing your own infant is uggo. When you read the actual comments, however, it’s clear that a baby being ugly does not stop a parent from going gaga over them.
Some knew right away, some realized it later when the hormones faded, but all of them seem to adore their smooshed, hairy, scrawny, and discolored babes.
And the good news is that apparently a lot of these conditions improve with time, especially misshapen heads. Either way, there’s nothing wrong with being ugly in the end. It doesn’t stop the people who matter from loving you:
1.
When my son was born and the nurses wiped him off and handed him to me I felt like Rafiki holding up lion king. The world was singing. I looked at him and he was so beautiful angels blushed. It was unreal how I felt. I bragged about how he looked to everyone who would listen. A year later I looked again at a baby pic and was like, “oh. I may have been impaired by that rush of endorphins…” —Sunhammer01
2.
As a mom of 2, my babies looked like weird misshapen potatoes. Puffy eyes, cone heads, squished ears. Newborns are weird looking. —justasmucho
3.
My dad’s first words to my mom post delivery were “that is the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen”. And of course she busted out sobbing.
Of course I was born in 68 and fathers weren’t allowed in then. And my mom pushed a long time so I was born with a cone shaped head. Mom said it came to a perfect point on top. Haha —rebel1031
4.
My mother maintains that I was the ugliest baby she’s ever seen to this day. I was premature, skinny, and oddly long. There are very few pictures of my infancy around my parents’ house; lots of my sister, as she was the quintessential adorably chubby baby. —Foxtrottings
5.
It is a long-running joke that my 21-year-old son was an ugly baby. It even got worse as he had the nastiest baby acne I had ever seen.
He is now a handsome young man in college so he never takes the joke seriously. As he was my first child, my reaction was to ask my wife if all babies looked this way when born and hoped it would improve. He did. Just took a bit longer than I assumed. —Wha_She_Said_Is_Nuts
6.
Newborn babies are really ugly because their face is squished by going through the birth canal. They’re often a bit too red or a bit too grey, and also smeared with all kinds of fluids (but at least they bathe them). They need about an hour to start resembling a little human.
My first daughter was born underweight so her face looked like a little alien, no puffy cheeks. My second daughter was carried a bit over term so her face was red and irritated (they lose the greasy protection when procrastinating).
My youngest son was born legs first so his face actually wasn’t as squished, he could be considered cute from the start, except he was born with dark hair not only on his head, but also on his earlobes, nape and shoulders, so my first thought was “holy shit I gave birth to a werewolf.” —cototudelam
7.
My family has large heads.
My wife’s family has small women.
My children very much took advantage of the softness of their skulls.
The first child was squeezed so bad that her head was completely elongated and when she was first put into my wife’s arms she was like lavender purple. Totally looked like an alien or something.
after the first independent breath her color went back to normal pretty fast, and her head got back to the right shape after about 2 days. Lemme tell you – those weird caps for babies in hospitals? NOT only for baby warmth. Also cause weird heads.
My second was a lot more ‘normal’ looking, but still not completely. mostly just the misshapen head. —superkp
8.
I thought my daughter was the most beautiful creature on Earth when she was born, for real. I look back at those newborn photos now, eight years later, & I’m like YIKES.
Not only are newborns inherently weird-looking, but mine was two months early. Her limbs were scrawny, she was beet-colored, she had no eyelashes. She was literally a fetus.
Once she plumped up into being an actual baby, she really was beautiful–& still is. She stops my heart, she’s so beautiful. But even I can now accept that I was blinded by maternal love when she was a newborn. —youhaveonehour
9.
I thought mine looked like a weird alien potato when she was first born. Then when I showed people baby pics, they all said she looked just like me. —Dreadzone666
10.
My youngest daughter was very red, features were all scrunched up, with hair on her head that stuck straight up on top and an extremely hairy body, including her face and especially on her back.
My ex was worried that she had that werewolf hairy gene…in other words, it was clear that he thought she was hideous. I still remember that look of disbelief on his face when she was born, lol.
As for me, I was just more relieved than anything that the birth was over with and despite her not looking like a picture-perfect baby, she was perfectly healthy.
It took about 3-4 months for her features to clear up and the hairy down on her face and body to go away. But her nickname, monkey, stuck. She turned out to be a very pretty child, still is. —chismosamimosa
11.
My son was hideous. Flat head and face, but also weirdly shaped like a bean. His left was ear bent forward and flat to his face.
I had basically no amniotic fluid the whole time and was on bed rest, made to lay on my left side for basically 7 months and it showed on this lil Quasimodo I birthed.
I fell in love with him immediately. —melissarn02
12.
I was in the delivery room when my son was born. When his head popped out, my first thought (and I’m not making this up) was Jesus Christ—this kid looks like Don Rickles!
Happily, his looks have improved significantly, but I was concerned at the time that he might be designated “ugliest baby in the maternity ward” or something. For all I know, he was. He’s an adult now, but I still tell him to google photos of Don Rickles every so often to have a look at his baby pictures. —Southern_Snowshoe
13.
I have had 2 girl babies. The first one came out looking like a perfect little doll. The second one came out looking like Mr. Burns. —smartypants333
14.
Our daughter was not a pretty infant. I knew that, so it was funny when people would come running up to the stroller to peer in, all ready to gush, then bam Ugly Baby. Them trying to find something, anything, nice to say was completely hilarious.
She became a pretty baby at around 4 months. —EntrepreneurOk7513
15.
our baby looked like a god damn disaster when he came out. it was a messy birth. emergency c section due to a bad fever breaking out. i saw them pull him out over the curtain they hung so my wife couldn’t see them splitting her open and digging all in there (the doctor was elbow deep it was wild). placenta accreta so they were pulling out these clumps and all this stuff onto a table, looked like a pile of bloody rags. there was nothing pretty about any of it.
the whole time he was a baby he was breaking out in rashes because he was allergic to milk protein but everyone guilt tripped my wife into keeping up breast feeding (before the docs found the allergy problem and said to stop). he had baby acne. threw up all the time. full set of teeth in about a year. he was weird as hell.
he’s 6 now and all that’s sorted out and he’s a cute kid. face looks good. good proportions. nothing weird about him. —dfreinc
17.
The first words to greet my daughter were “oh God what’s wrong with her” … I was even expecting a cone head but I was not expecting the lopsidedness of the cone head, it looked like someone had fused an entire extra head on top and shifted it 30% to the right.
She was perfectly healthy and turned out super cute eventually but between the head thing and baby acne she was objectively ugly for a bit. —InannasPocket
18.
My son was born with a horribly scrunched-up face, blue skin, and a full head of silver hair. We called him “Chucky The Smurf.” Now, all his elder cousins were beautiful from minute one.
My wife took one look at him, apologized, and said “Maybe he will be the smart one” (my wife is a bit competitive.)
He is a tall, handsome, talented, and smart college student now, and loves this story. —JuliusVrooder
19.
My son looked like a shriveled little old man when he was a newborn. Also had really bad cradle cap so all of the hair on top of his head fell out. One time in a restaurant, a couple walked past us on their way out and said, “I thought that baby was cute, but yeeesh.” I was too shocked to say anything.
At about 5 months or so, my wife and I were looking at a picture we had just taken of him and suddenly realized that he had become really, really cute. His hair grew back, his cheeks filled out (and then some) and he had these beautiful, long eyelashes on top and on bottom that made him look like he was wearing eyeliner. Objectively still a really good-looking kid. —boogacks
20.
When my brother was born and wrapped up in a white, knitted blanket, my mom called him E.T. and my dad got mad hahaha —lissocat
21.
My son had a cone head that morphed into a predator head. I didn’t think he was ugly, but one of my first reactions was definitely “I hope it doesn’t stay like this.”
Rubbing his head was encouraged to help it go back to normal and it was the only thing that calmed him. So now when I think about that his little head, I think about the times when we just laid together and I rubbed his head. Today has been crappy. This memory made it better. —suchgreatheights324