The platforms may have changed, but the Mommy Wars rage on across the Internet. Everyone is always trying to give each other advice that they can eventually turn into a profitable mommy blog empire and raise kids that hate them.
Right now, everyone is hating this mom on behalf of her five-month-old, who is not yet aware of what she’s been birthed into.
TikTok user @comingupfern shares stories about how she is raising her baby and some of her methods are controversial, to say the least.
She shared her thoughts on cribs and sleep schedules with her 100,000 followers on TikTok and it was noticed by writer Taylor Lorenz, who shared it on Twitter with the caption, “With all due respect, wtf.”
She starts by saying, “Why I don’t use a crib for my five-month-old. If you look at a typical American nursery, you will notice that it’s set up for the parent’s benefit—not the child’s. All of the artwork is usually up high where babies can’t even see it.”
“We literally buy these little baby jail cells so that we can just leave our baby in there and walk away,” she adds. “I don’t have a crib because I will never enforce my baby to have a bedtime. Babies are people too and forcing anyone to sleep when they’re not tired is inhumane.”
“Imagine if your partner locked you into a container you couldn’t get out of and told you you had to sleep even though you weren’t tired,” she says, not recognizing that for some people that would be an exciting evening.
“That would be abuse and you’d probably leave them. Kids deserve the right to bodily autonomy like we do.”
She then shares what the baby’s not-a-crib looks like, with low rails and a gap, in case the baby makes the decision to roll off onto the floor. She also says they have a mattress on the floor the baby can choose to crawl to when desperate for sleep.
There are a lot of people replying to Lorenz’s post who are absolutely shocked by the way this woman’s nursery is laid out, mostly because it presents a bunch of hazards to the baby.
I gasped when I saw the blanket and toys… also a roll/concussion risk at this age!!!
— Hopeless in academe (@RaRaRhapsody) January 17, 2021
also that bed is a safe sleep nightmare, don't even get me started
— Doree Shafrir (@doree) January 17, 2021
Exactly this. Videos like this feed on the exhausted emotional state of postpartum parents. If the baby won’t stop crying and the parent is exhausted and the baby is fed and diapered, etc., you put the baby in a safe place and take a break for a few minutes! A place like a CRIB.
— Lani Harrison, CPST (@lanicarseat) January 17, 2021
her whole tiktok feed is antivax nonsense
— Taylor Nikolai (@TaylorNikolai) January 17, 2021
i just see death traps in the rroom. Falling off the bed, Something awful happening in the blanket. Something awful happening in the rug. Something awful happening with the giraffe.
The time they were in a crib was the best time. What is this woman doing?
— Kombiz Lavasany (@kombiz) January 17, 2021
As far as food when is the baby to suppose to eat? How do they communicate that? Do they come out speaking? I’m confused. And a sleep schedule is imperative for a child and especially the mother’s that are dealing with pp, working, household chores, etc.
— Malcolm X Warned You. (@teabab_) January 17, 2021
Yes, this!!! Kids need structure. If I didn’t have routines in my classroom, it would literally be a wild jingle. Every kid for themselves.
— J. Metoyer (@jamomajo) January 18, 2021
There is something to be said for respecting children’s choices when they get to an age to communicate them, but learning to manage your own body can take a while. Sometimes I still don’t realize that the reason I’m cranky is that I need a nap. And I’ve been potty trained for years!