I don’t have kids and I know parents are probably going to roll their eyes but: I would NOT want my children to have phones until WELL into teen-hood.
I know that’s probably an impossible decision. But I work with kids daily and I see how distracting and detrimental phones are to their work, their behavior, and their self-esteem. And just — no.
So I’m pretty firmly on the side of this guy who posted to Reddit earlier this year.
A since-deleted account asked the Am I The Assh*le community if he was wrong for not wanting his daughter to have a phone.
My fiancée(28F) and I (29M) have a daughter who just turned 3.
THREE. So, yeah, uh, no. NTA, no more words necessary.
So yesterday my fiancée told me that she hates having to keep giving up her phone to our daughter and that we should give her a phone, to which I said, “Absolutely not she’s just turning three, though, we could get her those learning tablets since she will be starting preschool soon.”
So the fiancé is probably right here: why SHOULD she have to keep giving the kid HER phone? Let OP give the daughter his. He offers a learning tablet compromise instead.
My fiancée told me “Loosen up, you’re acting like those helicopter parents, and most toddlers have phones. She always throws fits when I don’t give her my phone, so what if we just give her my old phone maybe?”.
Ah, temper tantrums. It kind of sounds like the fiancé is the only one dealing with them.
I told her “Maybe when she’s 12, or 13, but for now, let’s just maybe get her that educational tablet.” and we just left it at that.
She’s been giving me the silent treatment and now it’s making me wonder AITA?
There’s an edit that clarifies that he does give the kid his phone, but he’s the enforcer.
Edit: I’ve always given up my phone to her, but when she has fits I would say no, and because she told our daughter that I’m the boring parent that ALWAYS says “No” and she’s the fun parent that always says “Yes”, as a result, she would go to my fianceé whenever she wants things such as sweets before bed and of course, her phone.
I’m not totally sure I buy that edit but I know I’m making big assumptions. It SOUNDS like the fiancé is at home with the kid and has to deal with fallouts constantly. OP doesn’t seem clicked into the tantrums or the amount of frustration this phone stuff is causing.
Here’s how Reddit saw it.
Gadgets have been shown to severely affect kids negatively from harming their brain development and learning skills to influencing obesity etc.
There is a certain age mark where it is safe to offer kids specifically designed learning games on tablets but to let them watch videos and play games without guidance at 3 years is just outrageous.
TheseAll parents need to educate themselves on the effects of gadget-use.
“NTA. WTAF. My three year old asks to see pictures on my phone but doesn’t need her own! She has an educational tablet that she LOVES that we limit time on. Do not give that young moldable brain something to get hooked on,” wrote gillygillyj.
So what do you think?